A Politically Incorrect Thanksgiving Poem

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This Thanksgiving falls sixteen days after the presidential nomination.

Some rejoice the results while others bemoan the abomination.

 

Verbal shots will be taken and friends will fall prey

to the slander and abuse that will take place on this day.

 

No longer will just the blood of turkeys be spilled

but those of our family and friends as our bellies are filled.

 

Instead of giving thanks around the table this year

Americans one and all will incite loathing and fear.

 

“You tree-hugging liberal skank,” some will abhor.

And on the table’s opposite: “You racist republican whore.”

 

They’ll start off as groans and hard-to-hear mumbles

as the potatoes boil they’ll become audible grumbles.

 

Eye-rolls will turn into daggers shot hard

as all await the first to play the dreaded Trump card.

 

The stuffing will be dished with fingers stiff and pointing

mocking the cabinet Trump is appointing.

 

But let’s not forget those who voted for a party third

They’ll be blending in while cutting and also flipping the bird.

 

Whispers will give way to talk then raise to loud shouting

and the expletives will become part of the verbal spouting.

 

“You voted for that blood-spilling, lying bitch?”

“Do you not value me as a woman, or do you have a brain-glitch?”

 

On it will go no one having the time of their lives

“Pass me the garlic, the onions, and chives!”

 

Phones will be passed in lieu of toasty gravy,

sharing videos of Hillary bashing the NAVY.

 

More videos: Hillary bowing toward Mecca!

More videos: Trump groping my friend Miss Rebecca!

 

Trump has too much hair! Hillary’s eyebrows too bushy!

Hillary’s just reaching for power! Trumps grabbing…well, he’s pushy.

 

Some will say, “Throw Hillary in jail!”

Others say it’s to Trump we should heil.

 

Hillary loves terrorists! Trump loves Putin!

(My face is bloating, do these yams have gluten?)

 

All the while there’s a corpse on our table who had a shot at more life

But today’s president did not pardon this bird from the knife.

 

I ask you, how is that fair and how do we fare?

We still bicker and fight though we still get to breathe air.

 

So when you look at that turkey and slice its gullet

think back to a time of Game Boys and mullets.

 

When you were a kid at the Thanksgiving table,

the peace was so nice it was almost a fable.

 

Don’t judge your gay neighbors or steal your uncle’s guns.

Just laugh with your friends and have fun

(and don’t forget to grab some buns).

 

Happy Thanksgiving Americans one and all.

A Dash of Election Perspective

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I think most people are shocked from last night’s election results. I couldn’t stay awake long enough to see the results, but my wife was kind enough to wake me up at 3:00 AM and report them to me. She knows, as a compulsive worrier, I was stressed about the election, even though I didn’t vote for either candidate. I voted third party, something I never thought I’d do. But knowing one of the two would win, I did have my preference.

But like so many early November Wednesdays in our country’s history, we as a people are prone to gloat, to bemoan, to judge, and to fight and accuse.

I’m sorry to those who didn’t get your choice. But just remember, those who got what they wanted today were just as devastated for the last two elections as you are today.

But we’re all still here. The world didn’t end for anyone. It maybe got better for some in the last eight years, and a little worse for others. But we’re still here.

I’m not thrilled that Trump is our president, per se, but my sister-in-law actually brought up a really good point. The advantage with Trump being in office is that he’s not a politician. This presidency will not be the last thing he does. When it’s over, he will have other ventures to tend to. Therefore, his term(s) are not going to be dictated by political favors or ass-kissing. No one likes playing the stupid political game, and Trump least of all.

I think it’s okay to give him a chance. I think it’s okay to hear each other out. And my personal dream: to drop party lines (which was George Washington’s hope). Just because I’m a Republican on paper doesn’t mean I’m for Big Business or Corporate America or against saving the trees and the animals.

On another note, I will say this about President Obama, since the clock is ticking on his final term, and I have to point out that the presidential candidate I voted for, Evan McMullin was the one who brought this to light: Even though I disagree with President Obama’s politics, I respect him as a man. In his eight years in office there have been no scandals, no mistresses, and he’s still the proud husband and father he came into the office as. In those regards, I owe him my complete respect and appreciation.

The real winners today are the one’s who don’t gloat or pick fights. The best we can do for now is hold our breath and hope for the best. We’ll be okay, you’ll see.

 

A Third Party Presidency Can Happen!

If you’re like me and most of Americans I talk to, you’re disgusted by the candidates for this upcoming election. Clowns. Losers. A pathetic and embarrassing waste. And that’s putting it nicely.

Capitol Hill has almost always been more concerned about their little squabbles and rivalries than about the interests of the American people.

Hillary supports organizations I’m disgusted by, she will disarm our military, and reduce our police force to hall monitors. And also, by a rule of thumb, any vote for a democratic party is a vote in favor of bigger government and higher taxes, both of which I am stoutly and adamantly against.

On the other hand, we have Donald. He represents the party that I’m registered with. And he’s an absolute disgrace. But for a while I was going to vote for him because he wants to rebuild our military, and it’s only likely that he’ll raise our taxes (not guaranteed like it is with Hillary), and he wants to do away with Obamacare, because we lost our freedom with that. He’s a “lesser evil,” in my opinion.

But a vote for Trump almost guarantees four years of scandal and finger-pointing and more turbulence with racial issues (which infuriates me because those issues should be nonexistent by this point. I mean, seriously, what the hell is wrong with us? Are we all still in grade school and we can’t get over our differences?).

But voting for Trump (or against Hillary) means voting for a racist, sexist pig, who might take the defense of our country so far as to annihilate any possible threat even before it becomes a threat, which I’m not okay with (but I’m more in favor of that than laying down our arms, as Hillary would propose). Basically this is what I call a grey election. There are black and whites between the candidates, but our convictions as a country are still grey. These candidates are asking us to vote for all or nothing on every issue.

My wife convinced me that a vote against a candidate is a waste, because it’s still a vote in favor of an evil. I think we can all agree that both are an evil in some ways or others.

You’re either voting for a racist, sexist fear monger whose primary interest has always been increasing his own bottom line…

Or you’re voting for a pathological liar, whose primary interest is control and power at every cost, no matter who gets hurt. She said it herself that she believes in systems and rules over the power of changed person. People in favor of more systems, rules, and regulations are defeatists.

BUT, like the brilliant film Finding Dory reminds us, there’s always a way out. DON’T VOTE FOR THE LESSER OF EVILS like I came close to doing. If you’re honest to goodness choice is either of the primary candidates, then by all means, go for it. But if you’re like me, and neither is acceptable for you, then send the government a message and demand a third party, another option.

I always fall into the mindset that my vote doesn’t matter. Trust me. I get that. I’m a total victim to that ideology. But if I truly believe in and hope for a changed government, then I must act on that with my vote. Because maybe there are millions of others just like me. And what if none of us go out and vote for a third party?

Abraham Lincoln was a third party.

If you’re undecided, seriously watch this 90-second video below. It makes perfect sense that a third party is possible.

Remembering D-Day

d-day05During World War II, one of the innumerable government agencies, the Writer’s War Board, couldn’t come up with a working definition of the word democracy. Here’s what E.B. White wrote in the the New Yorker:

Surely the Board knows what democracy is. It is the line that forms on the right. It is the don’t in don’t shove. It is the hole in the stuffed shirt through which the sawdust slowly trickles; it is the dent in the high hat. Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half the people are right more than half of the time. It is the feeling of privacy in the voting booths, the feeling of communion in the libraries, the feeling of vitality everywhere. Democracy is a letter to the editor. Democracy is the score at the beginning of the ninth. It is an idea which hasn’t been disproved yet, a song the words of which have not gone bad. It’s the mustard on the hot dog and cream in the rationed coffee. 

Don’t forget today, those that died for our freedom and our right to democracy. Don’t forget, especially, those brave souls that braved the beaches of Normandy and turned the tide of the war, facing off with evil and defending what is good and right and true and honorable.

Debates and Racism Over Coca-Cola Super Bowl Ad

If you didn’t watch the Super Bowl last Sunday (or turned it off out of embarrassment), you missed an ad put out by Coca-Cola that has sparked much debate and criticism.

In my family, we prefer Coke over Pepsi, even though only one of us can taste the difference. A big reason is because of their ads. Commercials and expensive advertising must work; we drink Coke because of those cute polar bears and vintage Santa Clauses. Their ads are catchy and classy, as opposed to Pepsi whose ads tend to be trashy and inappropriate by comparison.

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On Sunday, February 3, 2002, during the Super Bowl, Pepsi-Cola North America unveils a new Britney S..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And let’s face it: if I drank, I’d choose Budweiser for the same reason.

But Coke’s newest ad, which you can watch on the video above, was anything but classy, according to a lot of people.

For a whole minute, Americans from all nationalities and languages joined in in singing “America the Beautiful.”

My wife and I made no comment about it, that I recall. Except I might have mentioned how pretty it was.

It’s touching to see Americans of all races come together and be united as one, though we may differ on subjects of religion, politics, and attire.

And it’s heartbreaking to read comments online like:

Not a fan of the CocaCola commercial. America The Beautiful should not be sang in any other language other than English. Sorry not sorry. 🇺🇸 -BudLightBro (@BudLightBro)

I will be drinking Pepsi after your Super Bowl commercial. We welcome all people but being American should be an honor. @CocaCola #tcot -M Mahathy (@mmahathy)

I am truly disappointed in @Coca Cola for the offensive#SpeakAmerican commercial last night. Speak English!— Janice Rounsaville (@janicehr55)

Read article here.

Calvin, of Calvin and Hobbes once said “If you can’t speak English, then I say, shut up!”

He was six. I doubt he’d still say that today.

Some even went so far as to say that terrorists should not be singing our nation’s songs.

It’s too bad that we as a nation are weary to take up arms against our real enemies over seas, but will attack our own under the pretense of assumption and bigotry.

I don’t see people complaining about Disney’s “Let it Go” sung in 25 languages going ultra-viral. Why? Because it’s beautiful.

Like America.

“Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

What are your thoughts on the whole Coca-Cola ad debate? Share your thoughts.

Country Music Part I

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I was a big fan of country music from my freshman year at high school up until about two years ago. After listening to so much of it, though, I came to the realization that they all sound pretty much the exact same. There’s just not much variety in that genre. But there are still a few country songs that I like to return to every once in a while and that actually stand out from the rest. Here are a few of my favorites:

Letter to Me by Brad Paisley – Did you know that Anne Banks from the movie Father of the Bride is married to Brad Paisley? Anyway, this song is fun and relatable for any guy who grew up as an all-American. Takes listeners through the ups and downs of adolescence as Paisley writes a letter to himself and sends it back it time to when he was seventeen. It’s also a reminder to us to appreciate what we have now, right before us.

Sweet Southern Comfort by Buddy Jewell – It’s a little more hokey than most people might care for, but the lyrics are majestic, and takes listeners back to the small town America that most of us missed. This song makes me cry over the kind of life I wish I’d lived, catching catfish on the river, playing in the mud, and sitting under weeping willows. Not that I’m not thankful for the life I did live, I guess the grass is just greener on the other side.

Have You Forgotten by Darryl Worley – Yeah, it’s’ a controversial song, and makes an unpopular political statement, but man, seriously! I think we have forgotten how it felt that day, “to see our homeland under fire and her people blown away.” Never forget. Thank you, Mr. Worley, for your courage in making this song.

My Front Porch Looking in by Lonestar – I’ve purposefully listened to this song no less than a hundred times. Another song that encourages its listeners to love and appreciate their blessings. Love, love, love this song, and always makes me thankful for my wife when I hear it.

Chicken Fried by Zac Brown Band – The only other country song I love more than “My Front Porch Looking In” is this song right here. I’m sure you’ve heard it on the radio a dozen or so times. But give it another glorious listen. Just do it. And see if you can’t sit outside in your jeans with a cold beer just once more before the winter hits. Or maybe we’re too late, but spring will be here soon. Also, I love the tribute they pay to our heroes on the front lines. After all, that’s what gets me coming back to country music every now and again.

 

Book Rec.: Rawhide Down

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I love nonfiction books that point you to a specific point in time that may have lasted from several minutes to an entire day, and every facet of that event is digested and rolled over and over again, analyzing that particularly momentous moment in history. In the case of Rawhide Down, the event on display lasted merely 1.6 seconds.

Del Quentin Wilber captures the near-assassination of former President Ronald Reagan as though the book stood as a telling photograph of that entire day. Not a beat is missed as all hell breaks loose and the players on the stage of this dramatic occurrence freeze, Matrix-style, as the author walks his readers around the commotion, pointing out the structure of the armored limousine that would provide safety to the president and his body guard, Jerry Parr. The would-be assassin goes unnoticed hiding behind a noisy heckler as he steadily fingers his $45 RG 14 revolver, loaded with explosive bullets. Wilber goes into the history of the Secret Service agent Timothy McCarthy who was hoping to avoid duty that day so that he wouldn’t get his new suit wet in the rain, and that he never would have known he would become a human shield for the president, taking a bullet to the chest.

Acts of heroism from others such as officer Thomas Delahanty, press secretary James Brady, and Drs. Benjamin Aaron and Joseph Giordano are put on display for us to give our thanks to and honor, for saving the president’s life that day in March 1981.

Here is an excerpt from the book, which I highly recommend anyone to read.

President Reagan has just been informed that he will be undergoing surgery at the George Washington Memorial Hospital in D.C.:

Looking up from the gurney, Reagan spotted Jerry Parr, one of the few familiar faces within view. “I hope they are all Republicans,” he said through his mask. Parr smiled, but he was too anxious to laugh. Reagan would repeat the line later, to better effect.

One nurse monitoring the president’s vital signs was startled by his attempt at humor; given his condition, she didn’t think it was a good time to be joking around. Another nurse was amazed at how calm Reagan seemed. And everyone working around the gurney was impressed by his courtesy. 

“I don’t mean to trouble you,” the president said to one of his doctors, “but I am still having trouble breathing.”

Get it here on Amazon.