Here’s Why Cars 3 is Going to be Epic

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Disney and Pixar just dropped the trailer for Cars 3 and it. Looks. Awesome!

Admittedly Cars was an honest effort. Even though we personally loved it, we know it’s not high up on people’s Pixar-meters. But it still stands high above non-Pixar animated fare.
Cars 2 was. Well. It just was, unfortunately. We’re going to be nice and leave it at that. If you haven’t seen it, let’s just say the summer Cars 2 was released was worse than the year Pixar didn’t give us a movie.
Then the internet broke into a fit of rage when Pixar announced they were releasing a third installment to the lackluster franchise.
THEN the internet broke into a morbid party when Pixar showed us that unforgettable teaser where Lightning McQueen bit it on the race track.
Darker!
Grittier!
Pixar-ier!
If anything, it was the greatest marketing campaign since Apple’s Macintosh announcementduring the 1984 Super Bowl.
CLICK HERE to see why I’m so excited about Cars 3!

What was Dennis Nedry’s Password??!?!

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I’ve never really thought about it until I watched Jurassic Park recently, but seriously, what’s Dennis Nedry’s password? These guys came up with a few pretty funny guesses. CLICK HERE to see what they thought up. Personally, number 4 is my favorite, but HmmndSuck$! is pretty funny.

Top Five Guesses for Dennis Nedry’s Password.

Worst Possible Star Wars IX Titles

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So I’m just going to leave this right here for everybody. I promise you’ll get a kick out of this. Also, what #terribletitle would you add? Tweet it to @electricbeacher

Worst Possible Star Wars IX Titles

What Star Wars Is Teaching Me

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I wasn’t introduced to the Star Wars universe until I was in middle school, when theaters everywhere re-released the digitally-enhanced original three as a prelude to the long-awaited prequels.

I liked the original Star Wars movie as much as any boy is expected to, but I never collected the bubble gum or action figures or anything like that. became a die-hard fan of Lucas’ intergalactic universe until Disney’s release of The Force Awakens, and my faith has been secured in the franchise after recently watching Rogue One on blur-ray.

But as I was watching it, I couldn’t help but shake my head and think about what a fortune was lost on behalf of 20th Century Fox, who had a pot of gold sitting in their lap that Disney took full advantage of.

Disney saw potential in what Fox clearly considered a lost cause. I applaud business people who take chances on what others don’t believe in. I’m glad Bob Iger saw redemption potential in a franchise that died a slow and painful death in the early part of this century.

Because someone still believed, the Force was awakened and is now stronger than it’s ever been.

If you have a person or a project or a dream you think is a lost cause, don’t give up on it. Don’t sell it short. Don’t walk away. Keep at it. Keep writing, keep chasing, keep pursuing, keep on loving that lost cause.

There just might be untapped potential.

 

The Oscars Formula Cracked!

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Want good odds on winning your Oscar bets next year and going forward? Then read on:

Every year it’s the same thing. I tell my wife, “Hey, the Oscars are on.”

“Want to watch?”

“Sure.”

“What time does it start?” she asks.

“Seven.”

I have to pull up the channel guide online to find what channel ABC is on.

At 7:07 I say, “Damn. It doesn’t actually start at 7. They’re showing off their ugly dresses for the next hour.”

So for the next 90 minutes we point and laugh at everyone who looks like they’re dress up to be in Suzanne Collins’ fictitious Capitol.

If we make it through the opening number (Chris Rock sucked, Kimmel was okay; please bring back Billy or Neil!) I then end up just following the show on Twitter and Facebook seeing what everyone else says about it. (If you want to follow a hilarious and agreeable commentator, check out @JonAcuff.)

Then I look through all the past winners and losers. And last night I came to a rather mathematical solution on how the Oscars work. Granted, it’s not foolproof, but I think it’s just enough to help us all predict the winners from here on out.

Fact: No super hero movie is ever to be nominated for Best Picture. And I think most people agree that this unspoken rule cheated The Dark Knight out of a possible win.

Secondly, no matter what other category the films nominated for Best Picture are, there is a hierarchy that can almost always guarantee a correct prediction.

If a war movie is nominated, it can most assuredly take the Oscar home over its contenders. Unless any of its competitors is a movie about the arts or deals with racism. (In 2008 The Hurt Locker won because its competitors did not deal with racism or was not about the arts.)

So: If a war movie is pitted against a movie about art, the art movie will win. If an art movie is pitted against a film about racism, the racism movie will win. Don’t believe me? I’ll show you:

89th: Hacksaw Ridge < La La Land < Moonlight

88th: Bridge of Spies < Spotlight (there were no movies nominated about race this year)

87th: American Sniper < Birdman (again, no movies nominated about race)

86th: 12 Years a Slave (There were no films about art or war nominated this year)

Now this theory is not at all airtight. Argo won over Lincoln and Django Unchained, and the year before that The Artist beat The Help (which also beat War Horse), so there are exceptions. Or it could be argued that this is a relatively new pattern the Academy is setting, though no one can forget (or forgive) Shakespeare in Love robbing Saving Private Ryan in 1998 (again: war > art).

So what do you think of my theory? Have there been other patterns in the past? Perhaps each decade or generation follows a list of new rules? Are all best picture winners just based off of the social temperature of the time? Do movies that really deserve best picture wins get overlooked every year? What constitutes a movie being worthy of the honor? And why can’t they bring back Billy Crystal or Neil Patrick Harris to host the awards indefinitely?

Share your thoughts below!

In Anticipation of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

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I was warm for Star Wars growing up. I hadn’t been introduced to the far away galaxy until I was in middle school when theaters around the world re-released the original trilogy in anticipation of the newer films.

I liked them, but I never really loved them. In fact, I always thought, even in middle school, that all the humans were really bad actors, except of course, for Han Solo (queue any songs about a possible man-crush).

Don’t get me wrong. I liked Star Wars. A lot. I just never got around to reading the endless spin-off novels or collected the C-3PO Pez dispensers or dress up as a storm trooper and go to comic cons (I did get the soundtrack, though).

But then my whole mindset was changed nearly a year ago with the release of The Force Awakens. That movie made me a die-hard Star Wars fan. That movie was like the answer to an impossible riddle. It was like the mayonnaise on my sandwich, the ice in my tea on a hot day, it was enough to make me join the fictitious resistance, as it were.

And now, judging by the trailers and poster of the newest (albeit unofficial) Star Wars installment, we’re in for another treat this year.

Personally, I love that the Star Wars universe is bringing in lead female protagonists. That’s because I have a daughter and I’m glad she can now be emotionally invested in the movies for upcoming family Star Wars nights. Rey is a great role model for my little girl as I’m sure Jyn will be just as kick-ass.

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And can we please give a huge applause to Disney for getting the galactic saga back on track with the original 70’s look? I swear the first second I saw they were doing that last year, that got me hyped up just like the Cars 3 trailer took me  (and the rest of the wordl) from eh to HOLY CRAP FREAKIN’ YES I CAN’T WAIT!!!

(Seriously, whoever’s doing the marketing at Disney/Pixar/Lucas Films needs to run for president because they clearly know how to do their job extremely well.)

So who’s excited about this unofficial Star Wars installment? What are you most excited about? Who loved The Force Awakens as much as I did? Also, to address a small point of contention between almost every couple in America, what’s a good age to start showing Star Wars to your kids?

Let’s Be Honest About “Cars”

I don’t need to open my mouth even a little for you to know that I’m a ginormous Pixar fanatic. Everyone is a Pixar fan, but I’m a fa-na-tic. If my wife would let me, I’d decorate the house in full-sized Pixar posters. With frames. Backlit.

Most people knew that Pixar was making a third installment of the so-so Cars franchise.

And most people groaned inwardly.

Personally, I loved Cars, but I don’t blame anyone who can live without it. I stepped over the threshold onto the haters’ side, thought, when Cars 2 literally put me to sleep more than once in the theaters. We bought it only to own the full collection. I haven’t watched it, I don’t think.

But then today happened.

Less than a week before the release of the highly-anticipated Moana, Pixar released the teaser trailer for what we assume is going to be titled Cars 3. 

To be honest, I’ve been inwardly excited about this movie for a while. My take on the news was that Pixar was going to take the dreaded franchise in a different direction, sort of a redo, or like a “Wait, hold on, watch this one instead. We were just playing around with Cars 2, you know, being silly.”

To say that this is possibly the darkest teaser trailer ever may be an understatement. It’s intense, it’s unexpected, it’s …so far from being anything remotely related to Cars 2 (and Mater for that matter …madder, mater,Madder), that just one look at social media, it’s clear that people are actually excited about this movie now.

What a turn of events!

I think I speak for everyone when I say that I hope the rest of the movie carries this same tone throughout, as John Lasseter eluded to about a year ago:”It’s very emotional and his relationship with Doc Hudson, and his memory of Doc Hudson.”

Could Cars 3 join the ranks of greats like Ratatouille, Up, Toy Story 3, and Inside Out? 

I think it will. But what do you think? Leave your comments below! Will you be seeing this? (And based on the trailer, I can tweak this question: With or without your kids?)