October 2, 2016 27 Comments
As of now we have three kids in our family. Our oldest, two, we adopted last summer. Our middle, almost two, should have been adopted forever ago but bureaucracy’s a disease that lingers for no good reason.
Our youngest, six weeks old, came home to us a couple of weeks ago. Without going into detail, he’s been back in the hospital since Wednesday night when he went pale and lost oxygen on us and vomited up blood.
Even in the hospital, hooked up to monitors and breathing machines, there have been many terrifying moments. We were even both called into the hospital yesterday morning in case we needed to say goodbye.
That sucked really bad.
He’s doing moderately better now.
My heart goes out to my wife and kids because they are so connected with him. I don’t connect with babies or bond with them well, and won’t pretend to. But the thing that hurts most is that, as I sit in the ICU holding his marshmallowy-sedated hand between paragraphs, he might not give us his first laugh or cheer and applaud with the other kids when the Disney castle comes on the TV. To be apart of our family is to love Disney, pizza, and Volkswagens.
This little guy is supposed to be there under the Christmas tree in a couple of months so our kids can obnoxiously shove their new toys in his face. We’re supposed to see his eyes widen as we drive by Christmas lights. He’s supposed to take his first steps in our house and make messes learning to eat with a spoon and go see Toy Story 4 with all of us.
He’s supposed to toughen our middle kid up and I’m supposed to help him pick out his first car.
Yes, we always assume we will adopt the kids we foster because that’s what we signed up for.
It’s been an incredibly bad year on pretty much every level, one that I will be happy to forget. We just want 2016 to be over, and we want this little baby to be there to wave goodbye to it and step with us into a better year. Despite who the president-elect is.
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