I’m Remy (This Post May Cause You to Hate Me)



(Disclaimer: This post may tick you off and cause you to unfollow me. I ask that you don’t.) 

He knows what he wants and he goes for it.

Even though there are no real emotional scenes in Ratatouille, the film makes me tear up quite a bit when I watch it. Because it’s a movie about me.

I wish – like really, really wish – I could be like all the other people around me. I wish I can just be content eating trash and living the status quo. I wish I can just be happy with my day job, my lot in life, and everything else that’s been handed to me.

But I’m not.

I’m Remy.

I may not have aspirations of being the greatest chef in Paris, but I have goals of being the best damn writer in America. Cut me open and I bleed stories – the NEED to tell great, solid, impactful stories that can make the world a better place or change the way people think.

I can’t not write.

Problem is, I’m like Remy in another way.

(This is where the above disclaimer applies)

I’m done pretending to be perfect and awesome. Right now, I’m choosing my writing over my family. I’m not forsaking them. I’m making my highest priority my success.

Because if I’m successful, then they will benefit directly from that.

If I’m not successful, and I lose, then yes, I’ve lost a lot.

But it’s a risk I’m willing to take. I may not be here in five years, and I don’t want my family to know need. I want those royalty checks coming in for them long after I’m gone.

I try to explain it to my wife this way: “Let’s just go through a couple months of crap and grime and sludge to firmly establish myself as a successful writer rather than drag it out for year after endless year after endless year.”

I’m not saying I’m right. I’m probably wrong in this thinking. I’m not asking for advice or reprimands or counsel. I’m sharing this for those of you who also feel like the odd rat in the colony but are too afraid to do what it takes to do what you want.

I’m doing it. Are you?

My upcoming books: 

  1. Profit Over Patients – The true story of a patient advocate doctor who sued Big Insurance and won against all odds.
  2. These Great Affects – An emotionally-driven young adult novel about a girl who falls in love with a boy – after he dies.

Follow my Facebook Page for updates!


About Andrew Toy
I'm in the beginning stages of starting my own publishing company that's unlike anything you've ever heard of in the industry. The direction of AdoptingJames is taking a 90-degree turn and will be more writing/publishing-focused. Stay tuned for huge updates and exciting news!

46 Responses to I’m Remy (This Post May Cause You to Hate Me)

  1. Visakha says:

    I really hope your book is a huge success! Good luck. 🙂

  2. jstgina says:

    Some times I feel like the odd rat too…but then the odd ones r usually the greatest…dang! I just got a post idea..I think ur a great writer..cnt wait till ur famous and causing change with lots of bestsellers. I Could Write Ur Bio, you know. Just kidding! Goodluck!! jst don’t give up!!

    • Too many skeletons in my closet for a bio, lol. But I’ll keep you in mind if I have a change of heart 🙂 Bios are fun to write! But really hard! And thank you so much for the encouragement. Means the world to me.

  3. jstgina says:

    And by the way, I totally don’t hate u.

  4. Basil Rene says:

    Some would say that is a very selfish stance, some will say that it is a very selfless stance, but all that matters is that you are confident and clean with your decision. You alone can decide which sacrifice is the one that is right for the greater good. Having seconds thoughts on what is the right thing to do? Give yourself two choices, then flip a coin. The choice that you truly want will subconsciously pop into your head as the coin leaves your hand. Best of luck and I hope that you do obtain the success you seek.

  5. Craig says:

    I’m with you. Sometimes to live a balanced life requires us to be out of balance for a time.

  6. Abby says:

    I am really looking forward to These Great Effects, I hope it’s available on Amazon soon so I can get it on my Kindle

  7. toyra99 says:

    IT is WAY better to try and fail than to never give it a 100% effort and then wonder, for the rest of your life, what would have been. I’m rootin’ for ya !!!!!

  8. jezabelle says:

    I’m not sure where hate could possibly come into it… If it works for you and your family, then why would you not follow your passion?!? All the best 🙂

  9. I’m not very good at writing yet, but I will be someday. It bothers my wife that I spend a lot of time at my computer writing or doing research for an article I want to write. I admire you for making a difficult decision to focus on your writing. I’m sure you will succeed. Good Luck!

  10. phyllomania says:

    Love it, Andrew! Thanks for the follow. I look forward to connecting more, reading more, and especially to reading your finished books. I have several in the works and I intend to finish them in 2016. Crazy? Yes. Doable? Yes. Back to work, now!

  11. thewriteedge says:

    I think anyone who has followed you for longer than a day would know beyond a shadow of a doubt what your family means to you and would also know that your passion for writing doesn’t replace your family — it fulfills your sense of purpose. It also serves as a reminder to all of us striving for the same success to go ahead with all pistons firing in whatever range we can.

    I wish you all the best and send moral support as well as an open-ended offer to help in any capacity possible.

    • Thank you. My wife does not agree with this decision I’ve made, though she is choosing to support me anyway. She’s the real hero here.

      • thewriteedge says:

        I completely understand her position and have been in her shoes before. Several years ago my husband made a career choice that I didn’t agree with at all either. He wanted to extend his training by an additional two years when we’d already been in it for six and still had two more to go…before the extra two were to start. I didn’t agree in the least, but I also didn’t want him to wake up ten years later, say, “What if…?”, and resent me for denying him the opportunity. I told him that I didn’t want him to extend his training but that if he felt that strongly about it he should go for it. The kids were young, and it would be easier then rather than later.

        Hindsight is always 20/20. We know now that he made the right decision, but in that moment on that day I had a hard time believing any good could come out of it.

        I know how she feels. As a writer myself, I also know how you feel. My thoughts for strength go to you both, as individuals and as a couple.

  12. Pingback: The Odd Ones Are Usually The Greatest | Gina's blog

  13. Miriam says:

    I know exactly what you mean, and I totally understand your sentiments. I wish you the world of success with your new book. With your determination you’re bound to make it work and she will be there with you all the way, even if some days are hard. Go for it.

  14. How awesome you are committed to your dream. I believe when we gather our courage to put our heart into something, that unseen forces are the wind behind our back. I share your intention and wish you all the success you hope for. in lak’ech, Debra

  15. I sincerely empathize with you. As a black missional church planter who finds his fellow rats believing they’re actually mice, is one of the more ironic parts of my journey. I connect with your passion for doing it not only authentically but “better”. Keep on the trail. You’ve encouraged me today as well as affirmed me at a most difficult moment of deciding which rats/mice to leave on the trash heap.

  16. gsdwriter says:

    Go for it!

  17. Diane Tibert says:

    I think this club is bigger than most will admit: I choose writing over my family too. It’s not that I don’t love them, but writing makes me who I am. If I didn’t write, part of me would die, and they don’t want to live with a half dead person.

    So it benefits them that I put writing over them. So write on…the balance will find itself.

  18. Roos Ruse says:

    No haters here. Picking the perfect post from the three offered to me in the WordPress notification that you now follow my blog, I wonder if we aren’t already bffs. Meeting you is a delight. You charmingly and clearly depicted the life of a writer in this post. We’re often misunderstood to have unending ‘free time’ and available for whatever others ask of us. Truth; writing is a challenging, demanding, more thankless than satisfying job that requires everything one has to give it and more. With sacrifice and more hard work than most imagine, it can be rewarding – if we don’t quit.

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