Life with My Foster Parents
March 14, 2014 21 Comments
Hi everyone. So you all read my last post, right?
Thank you for liking my dad’s book’s Facebook page if you did. It makes him look real good to publishers and literary agents if lots of people show interest in his work.
If you haven’t liked it on Facebook yet, then I hope you choke on your fire.
Sorry, I mean pacifier. My dad doesn’t like calling it “passy” because he thinks it makes him sound girly. So he’s always like, “Want your fire? Here’s your fire.” Then he goes and calls me “girl on fire.” He says it’s a reference to a book I’m not allowed to read until I’m older.
He also calls swaddling “waddling.” I think that’s what ducks do, right? He’s always saying, “Time to waddle you up like a duck.”
What a weirdy.
But Mom’s great, though! She’s so much better at putting me to sleep and calming me down when I’m fussy. Dad thinks I calm down when he makes up weird songs, but really I just want to gather more dirt on him for these blog posts, so I’ve got to listen to what he’s singing. (The other day I was refusing to burp, so he started changing the lyrics to “Let it Go.”:
“Let it go, let it go
Don’t hold it in anymore.
Let it go, let it go
Open up and let if flow…”)
Anyway, it’s been fun here. Dad’s been turning on old movies when he’s feeding me in the middle of the night (apparently he bores easily). And Mom is the ultra best cuddle-buddy in the world. I like her; she’s prettier than Dad. And funnier, too.
Dad says girls aren’t funny, but that Mom is the exception. Her and Tina Fey, whoever that is. I’ll have to check in on that.
Anyway, I hope you all have a great weekend, and, maybe even a warm one! I’m not so sure what warm weather is like, but I’ve heard great things about it. Apparently we’ll be going for walks and stuff. Sounds better than “going to sleep” all the time.
But listen, this is important. Please like my dad’s book on Facebook. And if you have liked it, share a picture of it on Pintrest or something to spread the word. Here’s a couple links you can post on your Pintrest board:
He hasn’t read his book to me yet because he says I have to be a little older. But apparently it’s about this guy who’s life is coming apart and he finds solace (my dad teaches me a lot of words) in this fantasy world he discovers inside a cardboard box. It’s his escape from his family and reality. Which, I don’t get. Why would a guy want to escape from his family?
But apparently there’s giant bugs, monsters (what are those?), and jungle animal attacks. He says it’s like a darker Narnia, or a bigger, better Neverland.
If you’re getting tired of hearing about this book (who isn’t?), take heart. He just finished his second book. It sounds pretty good. And sad. He was weeping like crazy finishing it up the other day. I don’t know, maybe he was just so happy to be done with it.
Literally. I’ve got to go. Just hope we have more clean diapers somewhere.
Like my dad’s book on Facebook here, and watch for updates on the newer, bigger, better edition coming soon!