March 5, 2014 64 Comments
I have a secret that I think, after two years of blogging, I’m ready to share.
It’s an unusual secret. A personal one, that really only my wife and a few family members know about. And yes, I get teased about it a lot.
My coworkers don’t know about it, and my friends have no clue.
But now I’m about to share it with 10,000+ readers.
It’s sort of an addiction I face every morning.
Let me set the stage for you so you can appreciate the magnitude of this.
My wife is an amazing cook. She makes the best pasta, the best salads, the best everything I’ve ever had. Including the best eggs.
And each morning I have the option to have her make me gooey, cheesy, scrambled eggs or… a box of cereal.
And each morning I choose a box of cereal.
Not the whole-grain crap or bland granola that you can get in the health-food aisles. I’m talking, if it doesn’t have a cartoon character on the front of the box, I won’t eat it.
If Michael Scott ever opens up Mike’s Cereal Shack, I’ll hop on the first flight to Colorado and go there.
Is it any wonder that my favorite movie studio has a full-fledged cereal bar in their kitchen?
Growing up, I always loved that song “Breakfast” by Newsboys.
If my daughter were to be shrunken by my incredible shrinking machine and she fell into my cereal bowl, I’m not sure I wouldn’t mistake her as a cute little marshmallow and gobble her up. (Props to Rick Moranis for eating a colorless cereal, by the way.)
If I were to be a criminal, I’d be a serial… No – that’s too obvious. I’ll spare you that one.
Earlier this year, being 30, I decided to quit cereal all together and eat toast and eggs like a normal grown-up.
That lasted for about two weeks.
But can you blame me? Wendell the Baker came out with Peanut Butter Toast Crunch! And being a cereal connoisseur, I absolutely had to try it.
Then the Captain came out with Cinnamon Roll Crunch.
Tried it. Loved it.
Then good ol’ Tony hit me with Chocolate Frosted Flakes and Bam-Bam hammered out Poppin’ Pebbles.
It seemed the grocery store was out to see me fail. And yes, I succumbed, and continue to succumb, to all the new flavors and even revert back to old ones, because I figure, hey, I’m off the wagon, might as well frolic in the grass while it’s still fresh.
It’s Ash Wednesday, and some of you will be giving up something for Lent.
I’m not Catholic, so I won’t be giving something up, and it certainly wouldn’t be cereal (I’m not strong enough) or ice cream (don’t even get me started on that).
But whatever you do give up, whether for Lent or at any point throughout your life that you want to abstain from, just know that the world, the devil, your flesh, will all act as your mega grocery store.
And when that happens, and your tempted to go back, pray for the strength to resist. Like, really, really pray. Hard. Pray like you know God will get you through the temptation (notice I didn’t say He’ll take you out of it, but rather get you through it).
And for goodness sakes, stay out of the cereal aisle.