The Bark Collar
February 26, 2014 30 Comments
So our oldest dog, Pixie, has had this barking problem for almost as long as we’ve had her.
It’s possible we didn’t socialize her enough or something.
Or it’s just the fact that she’s a dachshund and they’re prone to excessive barking.
She doesn’t lick them or bark at them. She just sniffs them.
I seriously think her nose carries all five of her senses.
But seeing that not all dachshunds are prone to excessive barking, we decided that we could try to help Pixie overcome this little problem.
It especially needed to be fixed if our foster daughter’s social worker will be coming over every week. We can’t be having serious conversations with Pixie yapping up a storm in our open loft.
Oh, don’t get me wrong. We’ve tried many different ways to control her barking.
Saying “No barking,” clearly translates to, “Bark like crazy as though the zombies are after us,” in Dogesse.
Spanking her must tickle, because she just goes from barking to yapping.
Locking her up in her cage makes her think that we can’t hear her so she just barks louder.
So after much thought and discussion, we gave in to the last resort.
We bought her a bark collar.
No, not one that fries her, but one that sprays citronella in her face whenever she tries to bark.
I’m a really bad person, because I kind of think it’s funny when she’s about to bark, but then there’s this “Ffftth” that cuts her off and sends her jumping back about three feet.
Sarabeth hates the collar and pities our pup. She refuses to ever be the one to put it on her.
But the thing is, it’s working.
We had a friend over the other day and Pixie, left without the option to bark, was able to drop all her defenses and run and jump and play with him.
It was pretty awesome.
It kind of makes me wish God would hand out Sin Collars.
But one that actually electrocutes you.
You know, like if you’re about to curse – Zap!
If you’re about to tell a lie – Zaap!
If you get frustrated at the baby for crying at 2 AM – Zaaap!
If you’re looking at a girl inappropriately – Zaaaaaaaap! Ffffppphhh! Zaaaap!!!
Yeah, I guess that’d be pretty great if God could give those out.
But then, there wouldn’t be much use for faith at that point. Or prayer.
So they’d really just defeat the whole purpose of what God wants from His people.
Anyway. That was just a thought I had.
Oh, and my daughter just told me that if I don’t get more likes on Facebook for my book, she’s going to give you a sin collar. So don’t hurt her feelings.
Read her impromptu post here.