She’s Not a James, But…


I’ve been married for five years, and I just fell in love again.

You’re probably aware that Sarabeth and I have been in the process of becoming foster-to-adopt parents.

We’ve been longing for a child all these years.

Well, we finally got a call last week for a little girl born a month-and-a-half early.

So through a whirlwind of confusion and excitement, we’ve been at the hospital visiting with our beautiful, gorgeous, foster daughter whom I’ll call “A” for privacy reasons.

Seriously, for the first time ever I understand what the big deal is about babies.

I mean, I’ve always been pro-life and have understood the value of a baby’s life, but loving a baby?

Yeah. That’s a new one for me.

Now, we fully understand that, as foster-to-adopt parents, we may not be able to keep her—that there’s only a chance that our time together will end in adoption and little “A” becomes “A. Toy.”

It’s a fear and a faith we’ve never known. But more on that in later posts.

She’s not home with us yet. She’s still at the hospital, but we’ve got everything ready for her big arrival day later this week.

In the meantimes, I’ve learned a few things this weekend as a foster dad:

How to change diapers.

How to swaddle.

That I chose the best wife to be the best mother.

That out of respect for little “A,” I’ll always keep my nose hairs trimmed (not that that’s been a problem).

And my tears aren’t like a Phoenix; they can’t heal my little girl’s tummy cramps, or make her sleep. (I know, I know, let the ultra-cheesiness begin.)

Oh, and I learned one more thing.

While I had given up on God waiting for a child all this time, He was busy giving A. life, forming her, shaping her, caring for her.

So even while I was angry at God for “holding out” on us, He still came through. And now, I don’t want any other baby in the universe but her. Even if she does cry and fuss all night long.


About Andrew Toy
I'm in the beginning stages of starting my own publishing company that's unlike anything you've ever heard of in the industry. The direction of AdoptingJames is taking a 90-degree turn and will be more writing/publishing-focused. Stay tuned for huge updates and exciting news!

142 Responses to She’s Not a James, But…

  1. Larry McExx says:

    Sounds sweet, really sweet. I guess congratulations are in order.

  2. Morgan says:

    Many Blessings and congratulations 🙂

  3. ncreadergirl says:

    Congratulations, best wishes & health for Baby A and for you and your wife!

  4. Harliqueen says:

    So many congratulations!

  5. That is wonderful news, I hope her transition into your family is smooth and becomes permanent.

  6. Adelemm says:

    Huge congrats – awesome news! Look forward to reading about your journey with baby A.

  7. fairymeisie says:

    Aww beautiful story. Congratulations to you, your wife and precious baby girl. All the best 🙂

  8. amonique7 says:

    Congratulations. Praise the Lord for answering your countless years of prayers!

  9. anumie says:

    Amazing! Congrats on your beautiful little bundle.

  10. What a great thing to see when I first woke up on a Monday morning- this is a great reminder to us all that God is always at work whether we perceive it or not. He always has a plan and His plan is always Good. Congrats on little A- can’t wait to hear when you all bring her home : ) I’ll be praying!

  11. dfrantz1953 says:

    I’m dabbing tears of joy for you and your wife! What an adventure you will be starting!

  12. directorb says:

    Best of luck to your new adventure! Excited for you both!

  13. nshina says:

    A heartwarming piece. Made me teary-eyed. Congratulations!

  14. Congratulations. You prayed, you waited, you prayed some more, and voila! Here she is, fresh from the angels.

  15. treyzguy says:

    Congrats on y’alls new love!

  16. Blessings! God is always at work — his time is not our time, but the perfect time….

  17. workmomad says:

    We have done this journey in Alabama, although our foster to adopt little girl was 3. We had decided not to foster because we were concerned that we would be destroyed if we fostered a child and had to give her or him back to the foster parents. I know the joy and fear that you feel, and all I can tell you is hold on for the journey; it’s going to be awesome! I will pray for your family and for you to get to keep Baby A. Fortunately, we did get to keep our daughter, who is now 12 and in sixth grade.

    One final twist to our story is that when we were getting ready to adopt through the state, we were continually told that we could expect that we would have a child no younger than 6 or so, so when we ended up with a 3 year old it was quite a surprise!

    I can remember being angry, too, especially when I read about tragedies such as the woman who had postpartum depression who drowned all four or five of her precious young boys in the bathtub. I couldn’t understand why we were denied children when people like her were allowed to have them. Coming out on the other end of that struggle, I have to tell you that if we had gone to a factory and designed the child best for my husband and I, we couldn’t have done any better than the daughter God gave us.

    Congratulations, and God bless all three of you!


    • This has got to be one of the best comments I’ve read on my blog. Thank you so much for sharing this, and I understand about the anger, and yeah, we’re definitely fearful/hopeful of the outcome. Not knowing is going to be so hard, but we love her enough to risk it (not like we can go back, now, and actually, wouldn’t for all the money ever). Thank you for sharing this 🙂 What encouragement!

  18. Congratulations! This is such a scary and exciting time for you and your family. I wish you all the best and I hope and pray you receive the outcome you most want in the future.

    My husband and I had said, since the beginning of our relationship, that we wanted to be Foster Parents. We wanted to give a loving and safe home to kids who needed it. But after becoming a daycare provider we saw how attached we got to the kids that came through our home and how much we missed them when they moved on. We knew that our hearts just weren’t strong enough to deal with loosing a child we saw as our own.

    So I commend you and your wife, along with all other foster parents for having the strength understanding and patience to do that.

  19. iammom says:

    absolutely adore this post. It is so hard when our expectations are unmet but i LOVE that you are willing to put this all in God’s hands.. and what love that little girl is receiving 🙂 truly beautiful!

  20. cajunsweetie says:

    Congratulations!! And I pray The Lord will allow y’all to keep her to raise her as your own….Blessings!!

  21. Laitie says:

    Wow, that’s great! I’m so happy for you! Congrats!

  22. Darcel says:

    Awwww. Congrats to you and your wife.

  23. Congratulations! Wishing you all lots of love, joy, peace and a little sleep. Blessings !

  24. benjan29 says:

    Temporary or not, I’m so happy that you get to experience the joys of parenthood. Blessings to you both and to Baby A as she grows in health. She will always feel loved in your home. Thank you for sharing your good news!

  25. Congratulations! I’m you both make excellent parents.

  26. lljostes says:

    That is wonderful news! God bless you and you wife for being willing to step in and parents this dear one. No matter what the future holds, He holds the future for all three of you–and He loves you all so very much!

  27. Dana S. Hugh says:

    All the best for three of you!

  28. i am so excited for you both. Babies and children do change your life, no matter what people like to say, but they change it for the better

  29. barbtaub says:

    I’m so happy to hear that you, Sarabeth, and beautiful little A have found each other. Congratulations!

  30. M says:


  31. Yay! Get ready for the best hardest job you’ll ever do!

  32. How wonderful! I pray that little A has her “forever” home!

  33. cleopatra59 says:

    Congratulations. Patience is a virtue. All good thing comes from heaven above.

  34. Donna Marie says:


  35. elleturner4 says:

    Congratulations 🙂

  36. Cheri L. says:

    Praying that our God and Father, who is able to provide far beyond what ask or even wish for, will strengthen your hearts and fulfill this dream. I pray that the best will happen, for all of you and that, each step along the way, until little A is officially yours, you will recognize and hold on to the blessings, dirty diapers, sleepless nights, first smiles/steps/words and all. Congratulations.

  37. Cassandra says:

    Congrats! I tried to learn to swaddle, and it turns out my daughter hates it, so we don’t even try anymore. LOL

  38. lorriebowden says:

    My heart feels so full of love for you and your family! CONGRATULATIONS. Isn’t it amazing how we think we know the perfect timing for things in our life…but ultimately. …God knows best! Thanks for following me…I really appreciate it! Blessitude – Lorrie

  39. LUGS says:

    CONGRATULATIONS!! God is always on time, and He has a good reason for everything.

    God bless you both, and of course, your daughter, “A” 🙂

  40. Congrats, surely your heart is filled to the brim with love and joy for this little angel. God’s ways are always higher than us. God bless your family!

  41. dandilyonz4u says:

    Congrats. I do hope you get to keep her. You already sound like a awesome dad.

  42. vlgatsby says:

    CONGRATS! children really are gifts from God! honestly so happy for you both! much love to you,Sarabeth and baby girl

  43. couponssavingsanddealsohmy says:

    Congratulations!! And, she certainly could be a James 🙂 I have a niece named Charlie. Much happiness to you and yours. God Bless You.

  44. Elaine says:

    Congratulations to you and your wife and welcome to the world Baby A!!!! What a wonderful blessing from the Lord. I pray for much happiness for you all and that you are able to adopt her so she will be with you forever. Praise the Lord!

  45. Y. Prior says:

    woo hoo – sound alike good news. PTL 🙂

  46. Onimaru says:

    Congratulations, good sir! 😀
    And just so you know, you’ve been nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award!

  47. deshipley says:

    Best wishes to you all!

  48. Amelie G says:

    Congrats 🙂 I’m happy for you … My husband and I are just beginning the legal proceedings to get the paper that will give us the right to adopt in France. We will wait at least till the end of this year to get it.

  49. jessforrie says:

    Congratulations! Honestly, as a mother of 5 children, I do know the feeling of love at first sight with a baby. What struck me was the bravery that you and your wife have, moving forward into the unknown. Giving your love and hearts fully to baby who surely deserves it- but without knowing how long the relationship will last. Truly though, no parent really knows what lays ahead, how long we will have with out babies, for what purpose God puts them into our lives. Your post reminded me of that. So thank you! I wish you and your family all the best- and prayers for a peaceful outcome!

  50. gapark says:

    wow! adding my well-wishing and congrats here. You’re in for a wonderful ride!! Gail

  51. Patty B says:

    God bless your growing family – she is already blessed to given to your care. Congratulations!

  52. Pingback: True Love at the Movies | adoptingjames

  53. kmae says:


  54. jennypugh says:

    Congratulations! That’s brilliant news 🙂

  55. summerrain63 says:

    I remember once…years ago laying in my floor crying….had just broken up with my boyfriend…anyways…I was crying and asking God could I just know what love was once in my life….well I had been told I could not have children….but so strange that He showed me that love I asked for….not in the form of a man as I had thought….but I was blessed….I got pregnant not long after that crying fit and the love I prayed for came in the form of a little blonde with blue eyes….she is 10 now and I thank God every day for showing me what real love really is….

    I am so happy for you guys that you will experience such a love also…it will change your life forever and your heart will grow in ways you never knew….how exciting…what a blessing….congratulations


  56. oneintercessor says:

    Congratulations! I will be praying for you both to serve an important role in this sweet girls life, for however long God gives her to you. This is wonderful time, enjoy it! Happy Valentines Day to you all 🙂

  57. rita kowats says:

    I like ultra -cheesiness, James. Congratulations and thanks for following SWB

  58. chaya1957 says:

    Thanks for the follow on Endtime Chaverim, and I know a few people who are in your situation, who foster, adopt or foster to adopt. It seems like a challenging yet rewarding path to those who are gifted in this manner.

  59. ADEWUYI OKE says:

    Thanks for your good works. It will be great if more people do this

  60. firecook says:

    Hello and nice to meet you. Thank you for following me and it sounds like you have a blessed family , May your days be with happiness 🙂

  61. mrsgillies says:

    I know i am a little late…but congratulations!!! As you can probably tell from all my commenting, i am catching up on my blog reading.

  62. Jen Daniels says:

    So lovely, congrats 🙂

  63. Rachael says:

    I’m new to the world of blogging and I’m so excited to be following yours as of today! 🙂 Thanks for taking the time out of your own busy schedule to follow mine. I’m excited for where my story will take me and I hope that the blog will help inspire other people. I can’t wait to read your book, but I’m most excited for your foster-to-adopt journey as me and my family have been on that road in recent years. It is heartbreaking and joyous all at the same time. Blessings to you and your wife as you embark on the path of loving like crazy!

  64. Rachael says:

    haha After reading my post, you are thinking, “Man, this girl needs an editor!” LOL

  65. When you are free to do so, please tell us that ‘A’ isn’t short for Jamesina. The family here wish you every blessing with your new life (multiple meanings intended).

    Thank you for visiting my blog. I don’t know what brought you to the thing, but you might find this old post relevant:

  66. Just found your blog and this is such fabulous news!! Congratulations! My husband and I are in the process of pursuing a domestic adoption and we’re matched with a baby girl due Dec 15. We’re so excited! I look forward to watching your story unfold. Blessings!

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