StarbucksI’m here at Starbucks working on a book, and as I look around, I’m realizing something.

Starbucks is the Christian alternative to a bar.

I mean really, as I sit here I’m watching a chubby guy trying to make eyes at a young lady at the opposite table. He’s bald and wearing a small Western Kentucky Hilltoppers sweatshirt. He has a copy of The Insanity of Obedience next to his computer. I don’t think he has much of a chance.

One couple is snogging each other on the barstools where people are trying to pick up their lattes.

People go to Starbucks to get their drinks – their buzz – and hope to meet someone of the opposite sex. The only difference between Starbucks and a bar is that you don’t have to tip the servers!

(And instead of being asked, “What’s your poison,” you might be asked, “Whole milk or skim?”)

I may not come to Starbucks to meet singles, as I’m happily married, and I’m definitely not saying it’s a bad thing that people go to Starbucks for any reason. But I’ve got other imitations in my life.

I’m listening to the Frozen soundtrack as I work and I’m mistaking it as uplifting Christian music (need I say more than the opening track, “Vuelie”?).

I mistake the Bible as a self-help book.

I treat God as a deistic Being who is just out there somewhere. Then, when the devil locks me in the great Cave of “Wonders”, I expect God to appear as a funny big blue genie, complete with gold cufflinks, symbolizing His inferiority to me.

And church? That’s a place I go to for credit on my Eternal Records.

We tend to get a lot of things mixed up, don’t we? I know I do.

Something I’m trying to learn right now is to be still and know that He is God.  He doesn’t sound like Robin Williams and He certainly isn’t bound by any cufflinks or golden lamp.

That’s easy to say, and easier to write. But it’s something I’m trying to learn to believe. And be okay with it.

Meantime, I’m going to finish my latte and see if I can play Hitch to the Hilltoppers sweatshirt guy; his glasses are fogging up staring at this girl, and I think he’s going to damage his computer if he drips anymore sweat on it.


About Andrew Toy
I'm in the beginning stages of starting my own publishing company that's unlike anything you've ever heard of in the industry. The direction of AdoptingJames is taking a 90-degree turn and will be more writing/publishing-focused. Stay tuned for huge updates and exciting news!

24 Responses to Imitations

  1. Allison Jakes says:

    I found myself laughing through this whole post. 🙂 I never thought of Starbucks that way; I always saw it as a white-girl-and-soccer-mom Mecca. But I totally see your point now.

    I saw Frozen (should be italicized, but I’m commenting on my phone) last night! It was AMAZING! “Let It Go” will probably be stuck in my head all day.

    • Not a bad song to have stuck in your head!

      I think Starbucks could be different things according to its particular region. Ours are located within 5 miles of the Southern Baptist Seminary, so we get a lot of Bible students camping out. Often times it can be a single’s gathering, which is kind of funny. But universally, it’s an alternative bar, even for those white-girl-and-soccer-moms!

  2. dhestiniee says:

    LMAO @ your comparison with bars and Starbucks, bible and self help book, church and eternal records and lets not forget Frozen soundtrack as a religious music. It makes sense too!

    My favorite amongst the comparison is the Starbucks with pick ups and rejections. That’s just too too funny.

  3. jrvaldes22 says:

    HAHA, I love this! Its so much fun to sit somewhere and observe the people around you! I really need to start writing somewhere other than my house at least once a week, thanks for motivation!!

  4. This was too funny and true… Yes, we tend to pick up substitutions, but, we do need to remember there is no other name than Jesus to cling to. Will wait to see if there is more to this lesson you are learning… how did the guy do? Did he strike out? Now, I keep seeing your image of Aladin and the Lord… great idea by the way.

  5. Perceptive–how we tend to accept imitations instead of the real thing.

  6. cleopatra59 says:

    You certainly made me laugh. I’ve never looked at it like that before but it’s a good comparison. Thank you for this.

  7. bgddyjim says:

    Why doesn’t God sound like Robin Williams?! That would be awesome! I have to believe God has a sense of humor, He made me.

  8. vwoods1212 says:

    its pretty interesting writing. i hope this casual life we live don’t disappoint us in the end, but who am i kidding? plenty will be.

  9. Rachael says:

    LOVED this post!! Laughed along – we don’t have Star Bucks in Western Australia but we have a LOT of coffee shops 🙂 The question is, how did the role of Hitch work out?!

  10. oneintercessor says:

    Killing me with the playing Hitch comment. I love hymns–there is a gospel message that can’t be missed in the lyrics and they are never confused with songs that might be deplorable to God. God bless you, He’s gifted you with writing for sure!

  11. Cody Sweeny says:

    Haha, That is funny. I was just at starbucks last night and now that I think of it you’re totally right!

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