Smudgefutt Letters Part III

C.S. Lewis’ unmatched masterpiece, Screwtape Letters inspired me to write my own imagined, yet likely, letter from a demon mentor to his apprentice. Click here for Part I, and here for Part II.

Dear Pigmud,

I see that you’re concerned that your patient isn’t as headstrong about a certain issue he shouldn’t be giving a second thought to at all. Let me assure you, he is right where you ought to want him. You say he has a friend who is with child and she wants to abort it. Good for her! (Not like we have a shortage of spirits to taunt the world’s population, but that just leaves more of us to gang up on more influential people.) 

But in your last message to me you wrote that you yourself were struggling with the beauty of abortion. ‘Smudgefutt,’ you wrote, ‘if the unborn or partially-born babies go to Heaven (may It never be completed), then why would we want to encourage their premature deaths?’ I swear to our Father Below, sometimes you are such an idiot! 

It’s clear to me that you have your focus backward. The whole point of what we’re doing isn’t to keep people out of Heaven. It’s to keep people away from the Enemy. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Isn’t Heaven where the Enemy is and His presence fully available?” Let me explain. 

We’re not in Heaven, and we never will be, so why should we care what goes on there and who goes? Once they’ve gone, they’re gone, and good riddance! 

But while the people are still alive, we want to encourage them and lure them as far away from the Enemy as possible in order to either A) Keep them from joining His ranks, or if they already have, B) Keep them from enjoying His blasted gifts. Because when they join Him or enjoy Him, in essence they are worshiping and glorifying Him.  But when they’re not enjoying Him, or even thinking about Him, then they’re dishonoring Him. 

But we want to bring people so far away from honoring Him; we want them to disobey Him. And what better way to disobey Him than to tempt them and convince them to kill one another? And since we don’t know who could grow up to be the next Luther or Moon or John or Paul, we might as well kill them while they’re young. 

Now back to your patient. You say he’s okay with his friend aborting her child. You say he will be supportive of whatever she chooses to do. But he doesn’t necessarily call himself “pro-choice.” I say, fine! He’s fooling himself into thinking he is for saving that child’s life as long as he doesn’t force her to abort. But what you must keep from him is that anyone who doesn’t stand up and defend that baby’s life is just as bad as the lovely doctors who cut the babies into pieces or vacuums out their brain tissue, and discard those worthless bodies like worthless rags in the trash. 

Do not let your patient realize that by not advocating against baby killing, that he is just as bad as the people who kill them. When it comes to voting for officials who support baby killing and spread the lie that a woman’s body is her own (for men don’t own their bodies either, as every human essentially belongs to the Enemy), make baby killing a non-issue. And when his friend is struggling with whether to abort or not, remind him that the way to be her “best friend” is to let her make her own choice. 

I love how weak the men have become – so weak that they’re more concerned about their worthless image than defending the life of a baby – and how increasingly stupid people can be. But be warned, the stupidity comes in waves. Do not let the Enemy have a foothold on this issue or they’ll smart up. One of the last things we want on women’s faces are dry eyes. 

Yours Truly, Smudgefutt

P.S. I have sent our comrade Cutpus in advance to your patient’s friend because he is very good at convincing people that their actions outweigh the Enemy’s offered forgiveness. 

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About Andrew Toy
I'm in the beginning stages of starting my own publishing company that's unlike anything you've ever heard of in the industry. The direction of AdoptingJames is taking a 90-degree turn and will be more writing/publishing-focused. Stay tuned for huge updates and exciting news!

5 Responses to Smudgefutt Letters Part III

  1. Von Simeon says:

    ‘And what better way to disobey Him than to tempt them and convince them to kill one another?’ Chilling. Very much enjoying these letters.

  2. Von Simeon says:

    Reblogged this on Von Simeon and commented:
    When daemons correspond…

  3. toutsi19 says:

    Amazingly well written, I got goose bumps.
    Looking forward for more.

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