So an update on our adoption process.

We completed the mandatory classes back in February and March, in which time we completed all the paperwork and turned in the information to have our background checks sent to the state of Kentucky. We had to have them sent in from three different states to provide our background checks: California, Florida, and Washington State. (Marriage and the recession had us moving around a lot.)

After two home-studies which we passed with flying colors (even with three dogs living with us at the time), lots of trips to the baby section at Target, and seven months of waiting on our approval, we got the disconcerting  news that one of Sarabeth’s background checks didn’t make it back to the foster care office before the 90-day expiration date.

On the one hand, I’m glad that the state is being so careful to weed out the ineligible people applying to become foster parents. But on the other hand – come on! We’ve done everything they’ve asked us to the T, even though we didn’t like doing most of it, and much of it just seemed like busywork, plus, there’s so much evidence before them that we’re good-standing, honest, law-abiding citizens, completely competent to welcome and care for a child in our house.

This isn’t me ranting, but these are thoughts that I’ve had the last couple of weeks. It’s hard, sometimes, watching other people raise their kids and often complain what a hassle it is when they don’t nap or potty when they’re supposed to, when we’d be happy to have a kid at all.

But then, weirdly enough, I feel the best about it when I slip into what I call, “cliche mode”. We’ve all heard it hundreds of times in our lives, and I almost regret saying it now, but, “It’s all in God’s timing.”

God isn’t surprised that we don’t have a kid yet. Since the Fall, God never ever planned on us having a kid by this point, otherwise we’d have one now. It really is (cliche mode) all in His timing. And the reassuring thing about that is, there’s a reason for the delay. And what’s even more reassuring about that is that the reason very well may be simply because our kid isn’t born yet. Or it could be something completely different that we’ll never know until we get to Heaven.

We’re all waiting for something in life, aren’t we? Maybe a promotion, a degree, redemption in the life of a loved one. It’s funny because it seems like no one’s in the spring of their life. Everyone seems to be wading through the winter waiting for the ice of despair to melt away forever. Heck, look at all the famous rich people who continually get pulled over for driving, who check into rehab, who kill themselves. We all think they’ve reached the ultimate goal, that they’ve got everything we could ever want, but clearly they’re just as depressed, or worse, than we are.

So even though my book isn’t a New York Times best seller yet, or our crib remains empty, I stop and think about the good things that have happened: We’ve completed all the requirements to become foster parents, we have two awesome dogs that we love so much, we have each other, whom we are madly in love with. And we’re two very blessed people to have a relationship with Jesus Christ, to whom we can bring our petitions and stand confident that they are heard and being considered with love and grace.

So with all that in perspective, what’s a little more waiting?


About Andrew Toy
I'm in the beginning stages of starting my own publishing company that's unlike anything you've ever heard of in the industry. The direction of AdoptingJames is taking a 90-degree turn and will be more writing/publishing-focused. Stay tuned for huge updates and exciting news!

24 Responses to Waiting

  1. Wow! Thank you for this post. I needed, really needed to read about God’s timing. It is perfect because He is perfect.
    We waited years for our first to be born… we weren’t supposed to have any, and we were in the process of starting to adopt while overseas. The Lord blessed us with our daughter. His timing was perfect. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

    As I have often said to my daughters when something hasn’t gone right in thier lives, this has not moved God off the throne. He is not wringing His hands in worry and fretting… He is in control.

    I needed to read your words and see my advice written out today. Thank you for this post. DAF

  2. rflinchum says:

    Your child has a journey to travel before you come together. Don’t lose faith. There is a reason for this delay. Listen for the quiet voice. Have courage.

  3. cate b says:

    Thank you for sharing such encouraging words. So many of us are on a waiting or holding pattern – we are – it seems it is the hardest thing to do…….but it is His timing and doing our best to see as much of his perspective to our lives. Thanks again – blessings to you and your family……

  4. Danielle says:

    That don’t lose faith additude is going to get your far. I’m sure everything will come together in time. I know it’s hard to wait. An while I am not waiting to adopt or even foster a child. I am adopted and recently went on a search for my birth mother an the waiting was so hard. So I understand where you are coming and I wish all the live in the world only because you don’t need luck when you have love. God bless you and your wife.

  5. regan222 says:

    It will definitely be worth the wait. There is no feeling that watching a child grow. I suspect you will be good parents.

  6. Cheri L. says:

    Oddly enough, this post spoke to me more about priorities than about waiting. You appear to have yours in good order. My daughter and her huusband waited too. They told her she would probably never conceive, but two weeks ago she gave birth to their second child. Never give up hope. Rest in the promise of His perfect plan and grace. You are right to believe that He is still in control and His timing is perfect.
    Also, you’ve made me all teary and now I must find a tissue. 😉

  7. Benmo says:

    In God’s own time … you will be the two people perfected to care and love for His special child. Continue your vigilance with prayer and hope for stamina and endurance in these hours/days/weeks/months/years of waiting. You’re in my prayers tonight that your wait will soon be over and that sleep deprivation will soon be a common and welcome addition to your life.

  8. Ms. Vee says:

    God bless you! You angel will be with you soon. 🙂 Thank you for following my blog.

  9. Colaface says:

    Good things come to those who wait

  10. greenhouse04 says:

    Thank you for looking at my blog! I know just what its like to be waiting as you are now. But you’re right… its in God’s timing!! We were given two kids who weren’t adoptable to start, which made us wonder if we’d ever get adoptable kids, then these two kids went home at just the right time for us to then welcome the children who are now our own. It was then another loooong year of waiting before we knew they’d BE our own, but now that’s all a memory. As this time of waiting for you will someday be. God bless. 🙂

  11. The waiting is the hardest part, truly. And while it can be frustrating to jump through all the hoops when you know you will be great parents (believe me, my husband and I did it four times and by the last two, I could tell the social worker what she needed to do), it is sadly necessary because the ONE time they don’t check, might be the one time a child’s life is endangered. I will keep you and your wife in my prayers.

  12. Dr Iffi says:

    This waiting is the hardest……….. when me and my husband got married we didn’t want to have a baby initially for 1.5 years. then we planned and we even conceived but we had a bad premature labour at around 5 months …. it was a very painful experience and the wait after that for a baby was even harder but it is all God’s will and he knows best when and where he will bless us with happiness and this happens…. he blesses us with happiness out of the blue when we didn’t even expect……. your little angel will be with you guys soon too in no time and then when you will look back you’ll even forget all this pain … this time shall pass soon too.

  13. Author_4_U says:

    The hardest part for me was: ‘The waiting.’
    It finally paid off.
    I would sit for hours in a room much like this one and cry.
    I am now the proud Mother of two boys who are 17 and 12. (Both were adopted as babies.)
    I know that your faith in God will see you through to the blessing of children.
    Know that there are others who are praying and believing with you.

  14. skinnyuz2b says:

    Check out my ‘About’ page. You’ll see that our youngest three children were each adopted. We had many pit-stops and delays (due to a bad agency). Once we hooked up with a good one, things moved quickly since the paperwork was all completed. We adopted older children, aged 6-8 1/2 years. We had a biological son, so had experienced the joy of a baby. I completely understand the longing for that experience. Nothing like it. On the other hand, our older children have also been a joy, and were a source of instant love.

  15. terrepruitt says:

    I just happen to read this after reading your post about “What Moves You?” and this is an even better tie into Lars and the Real Girl. It is about time, waiting, and going through a process.

    Keep the faith even though, you may never know why at least you know there is a reason and the perfect time will come when it comes!

  16. luluchris58 says:

    Reblogged this on LuluChris58 BloG and commented:
    I think this is a great post!

  17. From an ink smeared page says:

    It’ll be worth the wait. And sometimes really good things happen during the waiting times.

  18. Pingback: Approval | adoptingjames

  19. Mel says:

    What a great post and now it’s all approved! Yay!

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