You Might be a Christian If… Part 2

Here’s some more fun for those of you who grew up going to church, reading the Bible, and playing Fear Factor at youth group… and everyone else who has some knowledge of the contemporary Christian culture. Enjoy!


You Might be a Christian If…

1) You know the three different analogies for the Trinity

2) At some point growing up you dreamed of being a cool youth pastor or a pastor’s wife

3) You think the Lord of the Rings is an allegory… no matter what anyone says

4) The same goes for Star Wars… and The Lion King

5) Your biggest fear was that the rapture would happen sometime between “I do” and your honeymoon

6) No matter how small the space, you just can’t seem to bring yourself to write “X-mas”

7) You maintain that yes, indeed, all dogs do go to Heaven … and cats are the spawn on Satan

8) Jehova’s Witnesses and Mormons avoid your house

9) Remember the Titans is somewhere on your list of top movies

10) You honestly don’t understand what makes cows, smoke, and crap so holy

11) Your boss knows better than to waste his time calling you into work on a Sunday

12) With little or no effort, you can tell the difference between Charles Stanley, Charles Swindoll, and Charles Colson

13) You know exactly what kind of man Zacchaeus was

14) Just to support a reputable business, you’ll eat mor chikin – even if you don’t really like chikin

15) You maintain that no Christian fellowship is complete without the 3 C’s: children, casserole, and crockpot

16) Weekends are not measured in time, but in service times

17) You think Tim Tebow is the greatest thing to happen since Paul’s conversion

18) You think Jerry Seinfeld has nothing on Mark Lowry

19) You know what P.O.D. stands for

20) You know that an “accountability partner” really means free coffee at Starbucks

Click Here to see Part 1.


About Andrew Toy
I'm in the beginning stages of starting my own publishing company that's unlike anything you've ever heard of in the industry. The direction of AdoptingJames is taking a 90-degree turn and will be more writing/publishing-focused. Stay tuned for huge updates and exciting news!

16 Responses to You Might be a Christian If… Part 2

  1. Timothy says:

    I’m not quite sure what P.O.D. means and I’ve banned The Lion King from being watched in my household. I just thought it was overly pluralistic.

  2. plexify says:

    Loved this 😄 Didn’t get some of it, but I converted when I was 18 and didn’t actually have a religious upbringing.
    Thanks for following me by the way, I only just got into this blogging craze so I pee myself a little with excitement whenever someone follows me!

  3. I remember fearing #5 at great length with you in high school.

  4. Vickie says:

    Love, love, love it

  5. Thank you for the uplift during midday.

  6. Pingback: An open letter to Salespeople | El Commentator

  7. I’m now questioning my salvation. I only know 2 analogies for the Trinity.

  8. pastorlinzey says:

    Ha ha! I thoroughly enjoyed this list.

  9. Lol, even if there’s only space for one letter, I just squish the ‘Christ’ in. 🙂

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