Anger and Hatred

The History Channel has been rocking it with their line of miniseries lately. Recently we watched one of their newest ones, Hatfields & McCoys on Netflix.

If you’re unfamiliar with the true story, it’s about two families divided by the border of Kentucky and West Virginia, who commit one crime after another against each other like a tennis match gone foul. The crimes are usually murders and each one intensifies with hatred, heartlessness, and malicious intent.

Though the story never falters nor grows dull, you end up throwing your hands up in hopelessness for these mad Appalachian Mountain people who seem to have nothing better to do than to plan their next vengeful act to fan the flames on their family rivalry.

(I’d like to point out that the huge shocker is that Kevin Costner, who stars as the patriarch of the Hatfield clan actually can act! – Who’d have known??)

But as you throw your hands up in disgust over these people, you have to stop and wonder – am I like this? Even a little?

Is there anyone you hate, or even dislike a tad? Maybe your boss, an old friend, a coworker, or family member?

I know I’ve got my list of people whom I’d rather not associate with either because of something they’ve done to me or simply because I just can’t stand them.

And there I am, suddenly. Stepping foot on the same trail as the Hatfields and McCoys blazed 150 years ago. You need only to watch the news to see that this same thing still happens today. Sandy Hook, 9/11, Dark Knight shooting…

I’m not talking about family feuds, but unmanaged anger festering inside inconsolable individuals or groups of people.

Here’s the thing. There is no limit to what evils people will commit. And it all starts with anger, hatred, a carelessness for God.

I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I have temper issues in the car. I prefer the streets to be empty when I’m driving so I don’t have to deal with anyone else. (Guess I didn’t learn much about sharing when I was little.)

But who’s to say that anger doesn’t translate into the home when Sarabeth or one of the dogs causes a minor infraction against me? If I can’t control my anger in the car, by myself, then how can I control it at home? At work? At Target, when someone crashes into my cart after turning the corner?

When we give in to anger, at anytime, we carve out a stepping stone for the devil to place his foot into our lives. And he will take that step, and we will likely carve out another, and another, and we are simply inviting the demons into our hearts, our mouths, and our lives whenever we give into anger. And because we’re human, born with evil tendencies, there’s no telling what we will do in our anger.

I’m sure if you had asked the Hatfields or McCoys what sort of legacy they would want to leave behind, neither of them would say that they dreamed of being remembered as insane villans who dedicated their lives to a mini civil war in the backwoods against their neighbors.

Yet, because they couldn’t – or wouldn’t – let go of their petty anger issues, that’s what they’re remembered for today. And we’re hard-pressed to pity any of them, save the women and children who were the victims.

What about you? Do you want to be remembered as someone who was able to stay in control when opposing circumstances got in your way? Or would you rather be remembered as having a loose tempter, a short fuse, and being a bear to be around?

I have to work hard at keeping my temper under control. And I don’t always succeed, and I’m ashamed of it. But watch this mini series, and you’ll learn a valuable lesson on the topic, as I did. Be advised that the three-episode miniseries contains frequent violence and brief, censored, sexuality.

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,  and do not give the devil a foothold.  He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.  Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” Ephesians 4:26-31

Casting Stones

I was driving to work yesterday, just a regular 80′s-music-induced drive. I drove the usual speed limit, dealt with the usual traffic not knowing how to merge, and then it happened.

I was singing along with the Cranberries (don’t judge), and I actually saw the white pebble slip out from under the truck in front of me. That’s how big it was. And even though I watched it shoot toward me, the impact on the windshield still made me jump.

I was angry. Even though there wasn’t yet a visible crack, I know that sometimes it takes time for those to appear and grow. I thought about writing down the truck’s license plate number so I could sue him when it comes time to paying for my windshield repair.

What a dumb thing to think, right? But all sorts of possible scenarios are permitted to play out in one’s imagination.

I thought about how this truck driver has absolutely no idea how angry he made me, and how he will never know that he totally destroyed my Toyota Scion. He’s just going to go about his day oblivious to his negative impact on my life.

What a jerk.

And then it happened.

I know it was a bird because I watched as a flock of them soared toward me from the bushes as I slowed down toward the end of the off-ramp. It wasn’t like the sound of a rubber ball on my windshield. It was softer – and more feathery-er.

It’s the first time I ever hit an animal that I know of. Even though in my younger days I actually tried to hit squirrels. I’m not very proud of that, and lucky for them I’m a bad aim.

Well, it was a bird this time alright. Just for confirmation I looked into my rearview mirror.

5…4…3…2…

Aaaand, thud. It landed right in front of another car, making it swerve a little. (“I swear, Honey! A bird hit a UFO and fell right in front of me as I was gettin’ off that dere freeway!” – I usually think of the average Ketuckian sounding like Mater the Tow Truck.)

Well, I thought about that bird. And the stone from just a minute before.

You see, I got really upset that someone caused a loud noise on my windshield, which never cracked, by the way.

But I had a negative impact on that bird’s life. So negative that I killed it.

I thought about that Bible verse that says God sees every sparrow fall to the ground. Matthew 10:29 I believe.

After I repented, I realized God was teaching me something.

Someone might cast a stone or two at me, and I have no reason to complain. Two reasons:

1) I probably (and I mean definitely) deserve to have stones cast at me.

2) Instead of complaining about the stones thrown at me, I should focus more instead on how I can avoid being the boulder that crushes someone else.

Doors, Dogs, and Doubt

So it has finally begun. I realize I’ve been quiet on the topic of our adoption journey since I’ve first started this blog early last year.

Well, with our classes out of the way (not much to blog about there), the paper work filled out (most of if), and house made as child-proof as can be (the picture here is of our future child’s room), I am thrilled to say that we had our first home study visit yesterday evening.

We’ve been worried sick over this visit for the past couple of months. When we brought it to the attention of the foster-to-adopt class that we live in a loft – a home without doors – we were practically laughed out of the program.

It was humiliating, for sure. But it only angered me. First off, Sarabeth had drawn a perfect blueprint of our home (as instructed) showing that the two bedrooms are completely separate – each at the end of our U-shaped loft. There’s lots of privacy.

The second thing that angered me was how quickly the minds of our fellow classmates – prospective foster-to-adopt parents – sunk into the gutter – hence all the laughter.

We could put up a door, separating the nook and bedroom from the living room, but it would significantly devalue the worth of the loft. So, in the interest of financial planning, that was not feasable.

The second thing we were worried about was our three dogs. Dachshunds. And if you know dachshunds, they’re known for four things: cuddling, sensitive backs, barking, and lots more barking.

It’s stressful having people over knowing the dogs are going to spend the first ten minutes barking their fool heads off. So, over time we’ve learned different strategies of keeping them at bay (locking them up) and shortening the length of barking time (bribery with treats that require perseverance and time to get through).

So needless to say, we were prepared for the home study visit to end with, “Call me when you get some doors up, and you get your dogs under control.”

I won’t bore you with the details, but let me just say that last night’s visit couldn’t have gone any better. The case worker, who was a wonderfully nice person – to our surprise – didn’t see any problem with us having no doors as our bedrooms are indeed very separate from each other.

…And she was a dog lover! She had two of her own – a collie and a something Shepherd (Australian, German, I forget – either way, the kind of big dogs I would like to have one day).

So all this to encourage you, if you’re living in a world of worry, or anxiety is keeping you up at night, and you don’t have the strength or faith to pray about it (like me), keep your friends in the loop and they’ll pray on your behalf. Many of our friends and family members prayed for us, and we’re so thankful.

So, with just a few more things to check off our list, we’re almost approved to be foster-to-adopt parents – and so, so excited, and shocked, and simply thankful.

Yeah, despite all the worrying, things are starting to fall into place. I bet it’s that way for most other people as well.

Life of Pi: To Read or to Watch … That’s the Question, Isn’t it?

Sarabeth and I sat down to watch Life of Pi less than an hour after I finished reading the book. Having read the book of course, I was extremely excited for the movie – and curious as to how it had maintained just a PG rating.

I know some of my readers have yet to see the movie, or even read the book. Or maybe you’ve seen it, but not read it or visa-versa. So you’re wondering, is it worth reading or is it worth watching?

Allow me to share my thoughts on both written and visual depictions of the story by Yann Martel.

Life of Pi by Yann Martel. Let me tell you, the first few sentences had me hooked. Now, let me make clear to you: I’m not blind to the fact that this book’s cover may have well been a picture of those “Coexist” bumper stickers. (Somebody pointed out at church recently that we already do coexist, so what’s the point of the sticker?)

I read books with many different hats on. I found myself having to switch hats on many different occasions while reading this piece of work.

As a blogger and book reviewer, I couldn’t wait to share this exciting read with my readers.

As an author, I learned many  new tricks from Mr. Martel, and am indebted to his bravery of venturing into new territories, and am awed by his storytelling abilities. He truly has proved himself a master of fiction.

As a husband, I sounded like this throughout the last two weeks: “Sarabeth, this book has a lot of potential” … “Sarabeth, I don’t agree with his religious outlook, but he’s such a great writer, I don’t care!” … “Umm… this book is really gory. You might not be able to read it” … “I just threw up” … “I just cried like a baby.” … “Finished. Let’s start the movie.”

But as a Christian, I was not blinded to the overt inclusivistic themes of the book.

(To be sure, the movie hammered those themes much more than the book did.)

I will say that it was extremely fascinating to hear the account of Christianity retold through the eyes of a Hindu/Muslim (yes, the main character Pi subscribes to both religions, plus Christianity).

I am a huge proponent of seeing the world (and God) through the eyes of non-Christians, which is one reason why I think it’s pointless for Christians to only read theology-based books, or listen to only Christian music.

There are so many passages from the book I wanted to share on this post to you all, but space (and time) limit me. So for the sake of story, I truly hope many of you get a chance to read this book. I would be remiss in not warning you however, as I hinted above, that the book is extremely gory at times, and could be overly upsetting to many animal-lovers.

Life of Pi directed by Ang Lee. If anything stood in my way from watching the movie, it would have been director Ang Lee’s weak reputation as a movie director. Need I say more than 2003′s all-time disaster Hulk? That, and his insistance on being controversial, i.e. Brokeback Mountain.

But people have redeemed themselves before. Everyone deserves another chance.

I think Ang Lee did the story more harm than good. I don’t know if it was his decision to add all the weird New Age-y special effects, which really served as nothing more than a New Age mini-sermon disrupting the story, or Hollywood’s insistance to cash out on the 3d rage. Either way, the exagerated color schemes and light shows were all for naught, in my opinion.

I never felt that sense of hopelessness and fear and desperation that we should have felt from Pi since falling into the lifeboat. There was never that Cast Away feel of being alone and missing the life that has forgotten you thousands and thousands of miles away.

Danny Boyle, director of 127 Hours would have been a shoe-in for this project. He knows how to make the audience thirsty for a single drop of water. With a certain, magical way of filmmaking, he can trap every audience member’s hand between a rock and a wall, and convince us all to long for a knife to saw off our arm. That’s exactly the kind of director Life of Pi needed.

I would suggest watching the movie if you simply can’t get to the book. Because, in Lee’s defense, he does stay true to the story, despite his weird detours and out-of place special effects.

In summary. Despite my disagreement with Yann Martel’s vision of God, I will eagerly anticipate his next book.

I think Ang Lee has run out of chances with me.

What are your thoughts? Do you prefer the book or the movie?

Honest Worship, Honest Life

A.W. Tozer once said, “Christians don’t tell lies – they go to church and sing them.”

Like you, the phrase caught me off guard. But when given to deeper thought, I realized it was true.

Let’s start with the basics. A popular verse found in many Christian songs is, “I lift my hands and I sing.” (If I cited that, I would run out of room on this post.)

I know I’ve never once had my hands in the air as I sang that verse.

Oh, we can justify it all we want by saying things like, “But it’s my heart that I’m lifting up.”

Bull. God knows the difference between your heart and your hands. He also knows the difference between security and insecurity.

What about song verses like, “I lay it all down for You.”

There aren’t many times I’ve repented from things after singing songs that make those bold statements. In fact, not sure if I ever have.

Here’s the thing. We’re so concerned with looking spiritual, we’re willing to live lies in order to come across as having it all together.

Not trying to toot my own horn here, but I don’t have it all together. In fact, I’m a mess. A spiritual, emotional, (sometimes) physical mess!

There are two types of places I’ve worked at. One was corporate. The other local.

In the corporate setting, these managers did everything right and by the book. They checked and double-checked everything off their lists that they were supposed to do. They dressed properly, they blushed if they cursed, they obeyed the rules.

Until they thought no one was looking.

First, they gossiped. (That’s how I learned about all the rules they broke on a daily basis.) Online shopping on the clock, not clocking off for lunch, “borrowing” some cash from store funds, engaging in inappropriate affairs with their employees, passing their jobs off to others, shirking duties, and the list goes on.

But you’d never know it by talking to them.

Then I’ve worked for a local place, where the “corporate office” isn’t but half a rung higher than the managers on the proverbial ladder.

These guys smoke weed, curse like sailors, cheat on their taxes, and I’d not doubt for a minute that a handful of them served time.

But you know which group I like better? That’s right – this right-winged fundamentalist Christian would much rather hang out with the rap-popping, weed-smoking, beer-happy “sinners” than the uptight, stiff-necked, hypocrites of the corporate place I worked for.

Why? Because at least these rough necks aren’t hiding anything.

They’re unashamed: “Here I am; take it or leave it… foo’!”

These guys are easier to witness to. They’re not going to get all over you for being politically incorrect or cry foul to the boss because you offended them. They might not admit they need help or change in their lives, but they’re also not likely to say nothing’s wrong with them and that every thing’s fine.

But I tell you. I’m such a mess myself. I do lie every time I sing, “I give You my all,” because honestly, I don’t. I just don’t give Jesus my all. That hasn’t happened before.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t worship. I’m not berating you for singing such songs, and declaring such promises. I’m just at a point in my life where I feel dishonest singing them.

I need to get to a place where I am actually doing such things as “giving my all,” and “taking up my cross,” and being brave enough to raise my hands (only for the attention of God), and then I’ll have a better, more honest, transparent worship time.

Then maybe it will make it easier for Jesus to come minister to me. Heaven knows I’m such a mess that I need it.

Our Full Potential

Sarabeth and I watched Adam Sandler’s Mr. Deeds last night. I (reluctantly) admit it’s one of the funnier movies in our small comedy collection. Watching it, I kept thinking, What happened, Adam?

As goofy as his movies are, we actually enjoy a small handful of his older ones.

Several years ago, he took a detour from his usual comedy routine and stared in a few dramatic movies, one of them being  Reign Over Me, one of my personal favorite movies. Besides telling a vivid post-9/11 story of pain and honesty in a broken world, it really showcased Sandler’s true talent and potential for what seemed to be the budding of his acting career.

The movie was timely because I, along with many fans, were growing tired of his slapstick hijinks and repeatedly silly antics. His next movie dealt with a serious issue alright, but not in a serious way. I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry was so offensive and filthy that I literally took a shower after watching just half of it. (It is very, very difficult to offend me.)

He then goes on to make several more silly movies, continuing to refuse to show any depth, and then, just to taunt those of us who would like to support him (if only he’d grow up), he stars in a movie called – of all things - Grown Ups (which scored a whopping 9% approval rating on Rottentomatoes – but don’t worry, that won’t deter Sandler or his producers from hawking out a sequel.)

Needless to say, with the exception of Chuck and Larry, it’s been seven years since I’ve supported or seen anything new by him.

But in that small stint of time between 2004 and 2006, Adam Sandler showed true potential. I’m reminded of my high school days. I scored an A in my Creative Writing class, which prompted my mom to say, “You see? I know you’re capable of getting A’s! This proves it!”

Adam Sandler proved to the world that he was capable of more than just joke repetition, senseless beatings, and fart jokes.

It wasn’t long ago when I said to Sarabeth, “We need some more Leo in our lives.” Leonardo DiCaprio is an actor whose career choices I highly respect and admire. He could have very easily remained as the pretty boy Hollywood made him out to be in his younger days, but instead, he chose to mature with the years. His movie choices are age-related, and aren’t just ones that will keep the girls storming after him like lemmings over a cliff (though, I’m sure they still do that). From Catch Me if You Can to Aviator, he has truly reached and kept his full potential over the years.

What about you?

Are you just sticking with what’s comfortable? Or are you stretching yourself, pushing yourself, to be better in your field, your hobbies, your dreams, your career?

Don’t settle for what you were good at yesterday. Discover what you could be good at tomorrow, and keep pressing forward.

Don’t Go to Church on Easter

Easter is just one week away.

Have you invited anybody to church?

Easter is a time for believers to gather together and celebrate the Lord’s resurrection from the grave and our redemption through Him.

But it is NOT an exclusive holiday.

When Christ returns a second time, it’s not going to be done in secret, quietly, behind the doors of a church, nor in the privacy of a stable.

No. Not this time.

It’s going to be loud and explosive and every knee will bow and acknowledge Jesus Christ as Lord of the earth.

Folks, Easter is a dress rehearsal for Christ’s second coming, and all the world will see Him. So what are we doing keeping Easter a private family affair? When we signed up to become Christ’s followers, we agreed to take His message to the ends of the earth. The least we can do is take His message to the other end of our workplace, or down the street.

So here’s my challenge, unorthodox as it may be.

Don’t make plans to go to church on Easter Sunday if you don’t invite a lost person to come with you.

Here’s why I make this challenge. First, it is a reminder that Easter is not about you. Second, how intimidating would it be to have to explain to someone that you didn’t go to church on Easter because you didn’t invite someone else join you?

Now, I may be wrong, but how much less intimidating would it be to just throw out a simple invitation?:

“Got any plans for Easter?”

“No.”

“Want to come to church with me and my family?”

“Naw, that’s fine. Thanks, though.”

Easy peasy.

Now you just need to keep praying for them and witnessing to them since they now know you’re a Christian. Cat’s out of the bag.

Now you can celebrate the Lord’s resurrection with a clear conscious, knowing that you did what you could (and by all means, if the Lord is prodding you to do more, do it). And who knows? The most unexpected thing could happen and they might accept your invitation! And maybe… just maybe they’ll accept the bigger invitation to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior and there will be an even bigger celebration in the celestial halls of Heaven than we could ever dream of here on earth.

Don’t make Easter about you. Make it about Jesus. And the thing Jesus is about, is bringing people from death to life.

Note: I understand that some readers may have faced (or may face) persecution or insults or hardships, especially my international readers. I do not mean to make light of inviting people to church and passing it off as something that is easy to do. But that does not negate the challenge (not mine – Christ’s). All of us believers must pray for the lost as well as fellow believers that God may grant them courage and strength.