If I Were Noah

You know what the most fascinating thing about the true-life story of Noah’s ark is?

It’s not that all the animals were able to co-exist on one vessel for a long period of time.

It’s not that it took just a handful of people to build such a large ship all by themselves.

It’s not even that Hollywood was able to find a way to dumb down the story with Evan Almighty. 

Fascinating as those things are.

But the thing that catches my attention the most is that Noah didn’t argue.

There is no recorded mumbling or groaning or complaining by Noah, his wife, his kids, nor his kids’ wives.

Let’s put this in perspective, and you’ll see why I find it so fascinating.

Take my lead and put yourself in Noah’s sandals and feel the heaviness of the moment weighing down on you as you hear God speaking to you:

Then God said to Andrew, “The end of all flesh has come before Me; for the earth is filled with violence because of them; and behold, I am about to destroy them with the earth.” 

So at this point I’m thinking, “Sounds fair. It’s what I’ve been thinking should happen all along what with the 50 Shades and Twilight phenomenons.” 

But then after thinking about it, I realize my earth is going to end. My world. Keep in mind that I’m only 29, and Noah was around 600 years old. His memories, his childhood homes, his whole world was about to be destroyed. Family friends, relatives, cousins he’d grown up playing sticks and stones with. All were going to be destroyed. Six hundred years worth of friends, memorable places, favorite restaurants and other comforts.

The trees he once climbed, the meadows he once flew in, the bridge he shared his first kiss on, the alter where he made his vows. All of it destroyed.

Then God continues, “Make for yourself an ark of gopher wood; you shall make the ark with rooms, and shall cover it inside and out with pitch. This is how you shall make it…”

Noah either had a great memory at 600, or he was smart enough to jot these divine instructions down. I would smile and nod as I usually do, but somewhere in the back of my head I’d be thinking, “This is a lot of work. I barely have time to clip and sell enough wool to sell in the market to make ends meet, and now you’re expecting me to take on a whole new vocation as a carpenter?”

Maybe Noah already had blessed hands and worked well with wood, so it’s hard for me to fathom being handed such a task. Just yesterday I couldn’t even drill a hole correctly to hang the curtain rods up without screwing it up (pun).

It’s overwhelming.

So between the Doomsday prophecy and the extra work load, I’m fascinated that Noah didn’t complain.

But maybe that’s why God chose him.

But then again… Moses talked back, and he was only told to pass a simple message along to the Pharaoh.

… Jonah ran away and he was only asked to evangelize in God’s name.

… the young rich man was only asked to throw a yard sale and give to the poor.

… I’m only asked to pray faithfully for my wife and future kids.

What is God asking of you?

It’s not likely that He’s telling you to quit your job to build a bomb-shelter for the upcoming nuclear fallout and wave adios to your friends and family for forever.

Heck, it’s probably not even likely that He’s asking you to lay down your life for the sake of the Gospel.

Though that day may be coming.

Noah was ready to do all that God had asked him, and he didn’t complain. He was ready. True, he had 600 years to prepare, but he also had 600 years to mess around.

I heard on the News this morning that life expectancy is supposed to go up to 111 years in our generation. If you’re my age, that means you roughly have around 82 years to get ready for what God might be preparing to ask of you. But probably a lot less time that that, because realistically most of us will be lucky to live past 82, so we can now recalculate that we will only have 53 years left to live.

Genesis 6:9. Noah was a righteous man, blameless in his time; Noah walked with God.

Could that be said of you now? Could it be said of me? Because if we’re righteous and blameless now, not taking part in the corruption of the world that’s daily laid out before us on a silver plater, it may just be that we might not have a reason to complain when God asks us of things.

Just have your tools ready for when He does. And no complaining.

[Image Credit]

Every Day a Hay Day

Common phrases found in the Toy House:

“I love you.”

“No barking.”

“How’s your book?”

“Who has to go potty?”

“How’s the farm?”

…No, we don’t own a farm (nor farm animals; we have three dogs, hence the barking and potty), but we do own an app on our ipad that acts as though it’s as important as maintaining a real farm for profit.

Sigh. It’s called Hay Day. And it’s taken over my life.

It’s this dumb little game that keeps you locked in like an incredibly engrossing book, only you neglect it at your own peril. If you don’t collect the milk from the cows then you can’t make cheese from the dairy and if you don’t do that, then you can’t fill up the orders that neighboring towns are asking from you, and you don’t get experience points nor coins to buy more cows to make more cheese to fill in more orders…

It’s ridiculous.

And ridiculously addicting.

It’s Giga Pets on steroids. Remember those?

If you’ve read my blog for a while you might be under the impression that I am some super-Christian who reads crazy amounts of Biblical texts when I wake up in the mornings.

Not so.

When I rise early, my thoughts are rarely geared toward thanking God for another glorious day.

Instead, my first thoughts are, “Where’s the ipad? I’ve got to milk the goats!”

After all, the virtual church is asking for virtual cheese

-and I’m a virtual mess.

Maybe you’re a virtual mess as well. Maybe it’s not some free app you downloaded onto your ipad. Maybe it’s too much time thinking about your finances, or how you’re going to spend the weekend, or what sales are coming up at Target that are waiting to be taken advantage of.

Or maybe it’s something more serious. Maybe the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning is your pills, your drugs, your porn. Maybe you shop too much, eat too much, drink too much.

Allow me to direct your attention to a piece of literature about a man who struggled with the same sort of problem. Not with drugs or alcohol, but with a cardboard box.

It was the one thing standing between him and his wife, and his chances of ever becoming the father he once dreamed of being. But then, there was so much unfinished business in Reveloin. He still hadn’t found the castle on the ocean, and…

No! Life inside the box wasn’t real. Even if it were, nothing about it or from it would aid him in being a better man here, in the real world. The point was, it wouldn’t be fair to Rosalynn or the kids if he kept the box around because there was no way he could resist the temptation of going back every time.

Robbie, who is constantly drawn back to a fantasy world he had discovered inside the box just cannot seem to tear himself away from it, and it’s hurting his family – and his whole life.

Download a free copy of The Man in the Box for your Kindle today (the last day to do so … and did I mention it’s free?), here on Amazon.

Oh, and I’d better warn you, it’s pretty addicting.

You can also get a hardcopy mailed to your house on Amazon.

Here’s what people are saying about The Man in the Box, and when you finish it, a review from you on Amazon or Goodreads would mean the world to me and my family and help boost sales. 

“Expect dinosaurs and giant creepy-crawlies. And if that kind of thing scares you, then you’re like me, which means you’ll go ahead and read the book anyway, with no one to blame but yourself for all the flinching you’ll do … There was no going to bed until I’d reached the end. The suspense had me on the edge of my seat with worry about how everyone was going to get out of this, heart thumping out of control the whole time, except for that one minute where it almost stopped.”

-Danielle E. Shipley, author and blogger

“Andrew Toy has created a unique and interesting story that spans several genres from mystery and adventure to fantasy … Toy’s debut novel will leave readers talking and will make them instant fans of his storytelling abilities. This will surely be a must-read for every adult that once created a world of their own when they were young, just by using their imaginations.”

-Nicole McManus, reviewer and blogger

Read more reviews here. Or, just get it already, you know you want to see what happens!

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True Love at the Movies

There are so many movies out that claim to be romantic comedies – and that’s just what they are – romantic jokes. So on this Valentine’s Day, I want to pay tribute to those few movies that actually speak about true love. Never mind the endless list of movies where the couple met yesterday and are forced into some silly circumstance outside their comfort zones and now 90 minutes later they’re sharing that “long-awaited” kiss as the sun sets behind them. Here is a list of movies (and shows) that feature a more old-fashioned type of love. A love that is selfless and undying. A love that overcomes all odds to keep on living.

A Beautiful Mind

To some, this may just be a movie about a brilliant man with a psychological disorder. To others, this movie is a really fascinating biography. Either way, it’s a movie not to be missed by anyone for any reason, though it may be too intense for children under ten. But when I watch this movie, I see a love story at its finest. Watch it from the wife’s point of view. By the world’s standards, she had every reason to leave him, and few would have blamed her. But for a woman to choose to stay married to a man as impulsive and potentially dangerous as John Nash, simply out of love – that speaks volumes to me that Ron Howard and the makers of this film, not to mention the real life couple this movie portrays, really understand what true love can be.

Cinderella Man

Another Russell Crow film. James Braddock, a real-life boxer who was forced to survive the Great Depression while protecting and providing for his wife and three kids is a role model for every man everywhere. The way he lets his kids have the last bite of dinner. The way he gets himself beat bloody to provide extra change to pay the electric bill. The way he loves his wife through it all, through the absolute worst of times in the twentieth century on American soil. James Braddock is an incredible role model for us all. His message is that nothing – not poverty, brokenness, sickness – should ever come between you and the family you vowed to protect through sickness and in health.

Life is Beautiful

This classic foreign film about the gradual oppression of the Jews during the rise of Hitler will make you laugh and cry at the same time. This film really does show that life really can be beautiful even in the midst of pure evil and ugliness all around. And the Beatles (for once) were right – that sometimes, all you need is love. The first part is classic Abbot-and-Costello-type comedy and the second half is pure tragedy. But through it all, it’s love that keeps this family alive and hopeful during one of the worst eras in our recent history.

My Life

This is the third saddest movie I have ever seen (just behind Toy Story 3 and My Dog Skip). Michael Keaton stars as a terminal cancer patient who only has a short amount of time to live. The catcher is that his wife is pregnant and according to the doctors, he won’t live to see his son be born. His wife’s dedication and love for him shouts volumes through this film as a call out to all wives to be that help-mate you were called to be when you stood under that alter with your groom. Though I don’t really care for the Chinese superstitious practices Keaton chooses to undergo as an alternative cure method, nor the New Age approach the film takes toward the end, but all-in-all, it’s a worthy movie to watch to make you feel closer to your loved ones.

The Office

This is the pinnacle of greatest shows ever made in the Toy household. (At least up to season 7 before Michael leaves.) But Jim and Pam have one of those relationships that you just can’t help but root for from the very beginning. They’re the kind of couple that just… work (no pun intended). You just don’t get much better romantic character connections than this.

Shrek the Fourth

Wha-?? Am I really recommending a Dreamworks movie? Shocker, I know! Well, after the absolute train wreck of the third installment of the Shrek franchise, I don’t know why or how I bothered to see this at all. The only explanation is that Sarabeth must have talked me into it, and since I love her (theme of today’s post), I gave in. And though it’s not as good as the second Shrek, this fourth installment actually surprised me in an unexpected way. The first good thing the filmmakers did was exterminate any potential tributes to its predecessor (Shrek 3) that they could. In a way, they started fresh, picking right up from the second movie and gave it a better conclusion by reaffirming Shrek and Fiona’s everlasting love for one another. It’s the story most men at some point wish to find themselves in – a chance to return to bachelorhood. Shrek the Fourth is a cautionary tale about why it’s best to appreciate what you have sitting around your dinner table. (Check out my book The Man in the Box for a similar theme).

Up

And how could I overlook one of the most remarkably romantic couples to hit the big screen since…. well, ever? In ten minutes the filmmakers meticulously stitch together a romantic life worth living as Carl and Ellie fall in love, get married, plan a family, and grow old together through the mundane occurrences of everyday life – yet, they somehow make every day an adventure. Even in her passing, Carl can’t seem to let her go, so in love with her he was. If only everyone can find this kind of romance.

Have a safe and happy Valentine’s Day, everyone, and feel free to list your favorite true-love movies.

The High Cost of Adoption

Maybe you’ve been in this situation before. You and your spouse share the news that you’re going to adopt a child. Instead of that Kodak moment of your family jumping up and cheering and buying another round, you’re met with silence and, if not icy – caustic – stares. And a lot of “Huh’s.”

And then come the objections you just weren’t prepared for.

“They’re troubled kids,” they might say.

“Are you sure your marriage can handle such pressure?”

“What color will they be?”

“What if they’re sick?”

“It’s a lot of work … a lot of waiting … a lot of pain you’re setting yourself up for.”

Not quite the ringing endorsement you were looking for. And here all you wanted was a couple of hugs, and maybe some tears, or as Michael Scott would say, “That Oprah moment!”

But it doesn’t come. Instead the family gathering turns into a mild version of Jerry Springer.

But here’s the thing. At what point did we start to expect that adoption would be an institution set apart from any other Christian faculty?

We claim the sovereignty and unfailing truth of God; there’s bound to be objections to that.

We base our lives off of Jesus Christ being the one and only true and living God; objections are to be expected.

We oppose abortion of any kind; objections.

We should be standing firm against fornication and gay marriages; more objections.

So when did we ever get this notion that adoption would be an easy out? Is that why we’ve chosen adoption as our “mission field?” May we always keep in mind that adoption, just like any other form of exercising Christian faith, will likely come with a high cost.

Maybe you have to downsize in order to afford it. Maybe it causes tension in your marriage. Maybe you’re ostracized from your family. Maybe the Russian government bans the right for you to adopt from their country.

I’m not saying these are good things. These are consequences of not only the Fall, but of being followers of Jesus Christ. Adoption is not to be looked upon as some sparkling clean virtue that comes without much pain or cost. If that’s how or why you’re approaching it, rethink your motives and check your heart.

Maybe you discovered halfway into it that adoption isn’t as pretty or sexy as Hollywood makes it sound. Let me urge you: If your friends or family members are giving you a hard time about your decision, use this as an opportunity to witness to them.

If the child you bring into your home is “troubled,” love him or her all the more. Hang on to them as if they’re you’re own. I don’t care if you’re adopting or fostering-to-adopt, once that child steps foot into your home, you’re Mom and Dad. I personally don’t believe you have the right to return them to the state, even though the state says you do.

If the foreign country you were so hopeful to adopt from closes its doors to you, resist the urge to curse them, but direct your anger to prayer, and trust that everything is happening under God’s rule for a reason and a grand purpose that you may not see until Heaven.

Adoption is an act of sacrifice in and of itself. Let’s not fool ourselves into thinking that it’s the easiest option to living out our Christian faith. Be prepared for the objections, the pitfalls, and the cold shoulders. Expect them.

Jesus had no one to comfort Him on the cross. For us to even have one ally in our quest to adopt is a bigger gift than we could have ever deserved.

[Image Credit]

For Whom the “Bell” Tolls: My Thoughts on Velvet Elvis – Part 2

For the first part of this review, click here.

“Is the Bible the best God can do?” asks Bell. Apparently not, because he doesn’t seem to be sure God even wrote the Bible to begin with. He wonders if Corinthians, for example, is written by Paul or God or God through Paul or Paul through God. I wonder, as he’s standing at the pulpit on Sunday mornings preaching through 1 Timothy what he does with chapter 3 verse 16 (“All Scripture is inspired by God…”), but there’s really no reason for him to preach out of the Bible anyway, according to him. 

“The Bible is open-ended,” he says. “We cannot simply do what it says,” because it first must be interpreted. Meaning, “Someone has to decide what it means.” Yes, he’s saying that the Bible can be interpreted in any way we’d like. “When someone tells you what the Bible means, it’s not true.” It’s just their interpretation. Yes, this man is the pastor of a mega church. If you’re not yet wondering about the devastating effects of the gut-wrenching statements here, take the time to read some reviews on this book online. People really think this is deep, sound, theological teaching and many say it has changed their lives. I have no doubt their lives have been changed because Rob Bell the “superpastor” is releasing people from the obligation of obeying the Words of God. No one ever said a changed life is a holy life. 

To take this hellish theology further, he gives the example of a leader in his church who had a question about a section found in the Bible and after asking many learned people and consulting many references to no avail, she in the end, decided to just go right back to the Bible to see what it had to say about this topic. Bell’s response? That’s “toxic.” And if that’s not far enough, he says that Jesus Himself gives His followers permission to make new interpretations of the Bible (somehow he gets this idea from Matthew 16:9 and 18:18).

Earlier in his book he admitted that Jesus came to fulfill the Word of God by giving it flesh and bones. Now he’s telling his readers to do what they think Jesus is saying, not what He is saying. After all, it wasn’t until the 300’s the sixty-six books were agreed upon, according to Bell. “This is part of the problem with continually insisting that one of the absolutes of the Christian faith must be a belief that ‘Scripture alone’ is our guide. It sounds nice, but it is not true.” 

If you want to irk Bell, tell him that you attend a church that teaches the Bible. According to him a church that’s growing has an easy yoke. Do you want to know why that church has “easy yoke”? Because it’s not holding its congregation to the standards of the Bible. The church may present an easier yoke on Sunday, but what are the attendee’s lives like the rest of the week, being starved for the Word of God, and having it withheld time after time?

Many yokes seem easy, which is what people will likely flock to. People want the easiest dieting books, the simplest instructions, the lighter load, the church that has very few standards and does not convict with the two-edged sword of the Holy Word of God. Many churches like this will grow. And why shouldn’t they? They’re giving out milk and honey! But over time that trampoline will get overcrowded and the few springs holding everyone up will give way and the party will end when the whole thing comes crashing down. Did I mention that not once, if my memory serves correctly, does Bell make any reference to Satan and the unseen world? 

To be concluded…

 

The Man in the Box

Reblogged from Ariesgrl Book Reviews:

By: Andrew Toy. Format: eBook. Read: September 2012.

     Robbie Lake was counting down the days until his island vacation with his family. Everything was going as planned, until the unexpected happened. While dealing with the unfortunate consequences of being laid-off, Robbie stumbles upon a box that sends him to a whole other world. In Reveloin, people fear for their lives and they are excited to return Robbie to his throne.

Read more… 269 more words

Here is the first review for my debut novel, The Man in the Box. Check out the rest of this person's blog for other book recommendations.

For Whom the “Bell” Tolls: My Thoughts on Velvet Elvis – Part 1

I wrote this a while back after reading Velvet Elvis by Robb Bell. I knew the book had stirred up a whirlwind of controversy in Christian circles, and before arguing one way or the other I decided to give the guy a chance (I liked his Nooma videos) and see what he had to say before choosing a “side.”

I wrote this back in 2009. Because of the length, I have broken it up into a few different posts. I’d love to hear from you all your thoughts:

It should go without saying that when you see the subtitle of a Christian book labeled, “Repainting the Christian Faith,” you should proceed with caution, should you decide to proceed at all. 
In this disjointed book, Rob Bell seems to want the theme to be about rethinking Christianity and the Bible as, according to him, Jesus did (that’s right, you’re going to hear a lot about a second-guessing Savior). One of his main points is that we are to reform Christianity. Or, as he puts it, we are to be “reforming theology.” He uses the example of Martin Luther who exposed the sins of the church leaders to make the church about God and the people and not about business and stale religion. That’s a fine example to use, if Bell is speaking to an audience of money changers. But he’s speaking to you and me, Christians striving to live according to the Word of God because we love Him. 

And that’s just the introduction. He then begins his first chapter by explaining how everything, at some point had to be named. At some point God’s Spirit had to be named by us, and even the Trinity was once nameless until we came along. And then he subtly suggests that the Spirit of God is not eternal. That at some point, “God became the Spirit so He could be everywhere.” This also implies God was not (and cannot be on His own) omnipresent. 

Concerning the doctrine found in the Bible, [Bell] points his readers to the example of a trampoline. He seems to be unclear as to whether the net itself is God or if it’s Christianity or what, but the springs are what he focuses on. They are the doctrine that holds everything together. You can remove the springs (doctrine), stretch them, pull them, examine them. If you take one or two springs off of the trampoline, it will not fail, it won’t collapse. This is where the famous controversy comes in: that the virgin birth was not necessary to fulfill Scripture.

In his defense he claims to believe in the virgin birth. But what I find to be more startling than his example of the virgin birth is that he claims that ultimately you can take any prophecy or truth out of the Bible and Christianity still remains unfaltering, somehow leaving you with a sturdy foundation to stand upon. He contrasts this analogy of a trampoline to that of a brick wall where it’s assumed if you take out one unchanging, solid brick, the whole wall will crumble. Plus, Bell says that a wall is meant to be guarded by keeping people out as opposed to enjoying the amusement of a trampoline and inviting others to join you. It’s because you love jumping on the trampoline that you’re going to invite people to join you, he continues, just like if you really love God, you’ll invite people to experience Him. “You rarely defend things you love,” he says. I’d sure hate to have him as the leader of my family [when a burglar breaks in].

He then goes on to describe a leader that is much desired and sought after. One who has more questions than answers. He uses Jesus as an example in that He answered a lot of questions with questions. So in response to the questions people have, Bell boasts in a “Doubt Night” he holds at a church where people are invited to write their questions down on a slip of paper and have them read publicly. (“Why do babies die?”, “Why do bad guys have all the fun?” etc.) In my mind, this can only accomplish one purpose: create more doubt in already [wavering] minds, and without these questions being backed up by answers, I can only imagine how hazardous this kind of thinking is to a young Christian who is already plagued with uncertainties.

Bell says people don’t want a leader with all the answers [I'm assuming political jokes would not be welcome here], but someone who has questions themselves. So while Rob and his pals are doing somersaults and throwing pity parties on his springless trampoline, I think I’ll choose to invest my faith and efforts in those who are laying their lives and reputations on the line by defending the wall as if it’s their very home. They take the Word of God very seriously because they recognize that there are eternal consequences in regard to what we choose to put our faith in. 

To be Continued…