You Might be a Christian If… Part 2

Here’s some more fun for those of you who grew up going to church, reading the Bible, and playing Fear Factor at youth group… and everyone else who has some knowledge of the contemporary Christian culture. Enjoy!


You Might be a Christian If…

1) You know the three different analogies for the Trinity

2) At some point growing up you dreamed of being a cool youth pastor or a pastor’s wife

3) You think the Lord of the Rings is an allegory… no matter what anyone says

4) The same goes for Star Wars… and The Lion King

5) Your biggest fear was that the rapture would happen sometime between “I do” and your honeymoon

6) No matter how small the space, you just can’t seem to bring yourself to write “X-mas”

7) You maintain that yes, indeed, all dogs do go to Heaven … and cats are the spawn on Satan

8) Jehova’s Witnesses and Mormons avoid your house

9) Remember the Titans is somewhere on your list of top movies

10) You honestly don’t understand what makes cows, smoke, and crap so holy

11) Your boss knows better than to waste his time calling you into work on a Sunday

12) With little or no effort, you can tell the difference between Charles Stanley, Charles Swindoll, and Charles Colson

13) You know exactly what kind of man Zacchaeus was

14) Just to support a reputable business, you’ll eat mor chikin – even if you don’t really like chikin

15) You maintain that no Christian fellowship is complete without the 3 C’s: children, casserole, and crockpot

16) Weekends are not measured in time, but in service times

17) You think Tim Tebow is the greatest thing to happen since Paul’s conversion

18) You think Jerry Seinfeld has nothing on Mark Lowry

19) You know what P.O.D. stands for

20) You know that an “accountability partner” really means free coffee at Starbucks

Click Here to see Part 1.

You Might Be a Christian If… Part 1

We have all laughed at Jeff Foxworthy’s famous “You Might be a Redneck If…” jokes. And I’m sure the “Christian version” has been done before. But I didn’t bother to look it up if it has, so I decided to give it a go. Have fun!


Disclaimer: (a.) 95% of the following statements does not grant you residency in Heaven. (b.) That was a joke.


1. You consider Married with Children and The Simpsons adult programming

2. You can finish this sentence: “Over the mountains and the sea…”

3. You’ve ended a love letter with Philippians 1:3

4. You watch The Office but are selective with whom you share that with at church

5. You thought Ray Boltz’s version of Heaven was pretty cool

6. You replace expletives with words like “gosh” and “dang” and – dare I say it – “shucks”

7. You pronounce it “Awana” instead of “Awanas”

8. You know what every color of the Gospel bracelet symbolizes

9. When the evil goes east, you go west, young man

10. You can name all 16 of the Left Behind books – in order

11. You thought Carman was cooler than the Fonz

12. You considered naming your new dog Wise Guy

13. You voted for Rick Santorum in last year’s primaries

14. You’ve asked for forgiveness for not giving in and voting for Mitt Romney

15. At some point you wrote a Bible verse as your Facebook status to prove that you’ve done your devotions that day

16. You know what Kirk Cameron’s been up to

17. You know who Kirk Cameron is without having to look him up on IMDB to see that he played Mike Seaver in Growing Pains

18. You got a promise ring as a junior high graduation gift

19. The only two rap CD’s you owned growing up were Toby Mac’s “Momentum” and Will Smith’s “Big Willie Style” – just to stay relevant.

20. You know exactly what “bounce the eyes” means.


I thought it would be a fun Friday treat to give you guys a look into our home life. In this post you’ll find a link to the blog Sarabeth maintains about the three dogs we have living with us in our  loft. The purpose for her blog is so that her sister and brother-in-law can check in on their babies every now and then.

Last summer they moved across the Atlantic ocean to carry out missions work for our Lord. (For a little more on missions, read here.) They own two dachshunds, Roxy and Sydney, but they couldn’t take them along because they heard that the people group was hostile against dogs. So they left them in our care. Our dog Pixie was glad to have new roommates to play with (especially Sydney), and so this has been our life for the last ten months.

Enjoy. And please tell my wife what a wonderful blog she has: The Dachshunds

(Also, please don’t judge us for the poor quality photos. We’re trying to save up for a better camera to post better pictures for you all.)

[Image credit]

This Summer’s Reading List

Summer’s approaching and that means… book fever! Yes, it’s time to dust off those books you’ve been meaning to read for so long, pull out those books you received for Christmas last year, open them up and start reading. I always say that no one is too busy to read. If you’re saying that, then stop *reading* this blog (or tweet), and stick your nose in a book. (And not a book that’s most likely going to be made into the next steamy movie – that doesn’t count… that’s just watching a silly movie in slow motion.)

So as you’ve probably figured out by now, every Tuesday is Book Rec day here on Adopting James. I’m just tingling with excitement over the next several books I’m going to read  this summer. Here’s a sneak peak at my bookshelf I’ll be making my way through in the next few months, so if you have any of these books, you can read along, or maybe this post will inspire you to get out there and treat yourself to some useful purchases. Be looking for my reviews in the next few months. And remember, I’m open to suggestions, so email them to me or comment. Happy reading!

This will be my first official baseball book, as I’ve just recently developed a love for the sport. I’m more interested in the history of baseball than taking it up as something I currently follow. Anytime you mix history in with something, my attention is taken captive. And heck, reading about the world’s longest ball game could be a good way to begin my baseball reading endeavor. Anyone have any other baseball book suggestions?



I am indebted to this man, like many of you, in so many ways. No so much because of the products he’s invented (Sarabeth and I still only have a MacBook, but would like others), but because of certain investments he’s made. Many people don’t know this, but it was Steve Jobs who gave Pixar Animation Studios their start by funding them back in the late ’80′s. In so many ways, it’s because of Steve Jobs that we have movies like Toy Story, Up, The Incredibles, Ratatouille, and others, thus ultimately saving the Disney Studios. And, I’ve been told that it was Jobs himself who suggested Woody be a good guy rather than antagonistic when Lassetter, Stanton and their team were creating the first Toy Story . Why is that such a big deal, you ask? Let’s just say I’ve got a small collection of Woody figurines on my desk, including a real pull-string Woody doll on my bookshelf… with my name (Andy) written on the bottom of his right boot.


This is one of my favorite books, written by one of my favorite classic authors. If you haven’t read it, or Around the World in 80 Days, you finally need to do so. Plus, I hear Disney is making a movie about Captain Nemo, so… gots to be prepared for that.




I’ve heard nothing but outstanding things about author Erik Larson, and especially this book of American history. It’s set in Chicago, 1893, and centers around an architect, who was behind the idea of the 1893 World’s Fair, and a serial killer who used the fair to lure his victims to their death. This sounds like it has all the makings of a classic. Why didn’t they teach us this sort of stuff in school?



This book came highly recommended by Dr. Albert Mohler, and quite frankly, after reading a couple of his recommendations, I just keep going back to his list for more. And, after seeing The Conspirator last year, I’m very excited to get the story inside the story. I mean, other than hunting down Nazis or terrorist, what else could be more exciting than searching and capturing John Wilkes Booth? Plus, this will be great preparation for Spielberg’s Lincoln coming out this summer – And no, he does not go around hacking zombies to death with an axe.

Additional books: The Universe Next Door, Sire; The History of Israel, Kaiser; To Try Men’s Souls, Gingrich; America: The Last Best Hope, Vol. 2, Bennett; God’s Passion for His Glory – Piper

Image credits: Bottom of the 33rd, Steve Jobs, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, The Devil in the White City, Manhunt


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