I Am the Lion – Chapter 1

Fans of The Man in the Box and serious readers of emotionally thematic dramas will be pleased to know that my second book, I Am the Lion, will be made available by December on Amazon Kindle Direct. For your pleasure I’m sharing the first chapter below. Enjoy!

You can find a full description of this book and my next three releases by clicking here.                                                                    

                                                                    I Am the Lion

                                                                      Andrew Toy


Lydia was thrilled when her dad asked if she wanted to go to the first game of the season. She had spent most of that winter wondering if they would ever go to the stadium again especially since there was no World Series the year before because of the strikes—with baseball closed from August ’94 to April the following year, it was natural for most kids to assume it would never come back. So this particular game was doubly special because it was a sort of welcome back celebration for America’s pastime. But it was also notable because when baseball died, Lydia’s mom died shortly after. And now one was back from the dead.


Lydia’s closet was cluttered with forgotten toys and outgrown clothes. She tossed aside a Rubik’s Cube that had never been solved, a tie-dye Beanie Baby dog named Shelby that had a Kool-Aid stain on its face and right front paw, and a torn Lite-Brite box with only a few pegs remaining. Lying directly underneath a blue My Little Pony tank top was one of her two photo albums her hand brushed over, which caused her to look away as though turning from a bright flash of light. She wasn’t ready to confront those old pictures just yet. Maybe when her dad was ready she’d manage to find the courage to go through them, but until just moments ago, it was looking like he’d never be ready, so she might have a chance to rediscover those old pictures sooner than she thought.


Tucked away in the far corner was her baseball glove and blue Dodger’s cap. She reached for them and pulled them out of the confines of the stuffed closet, brushing the dust off the glove and bending the bill of the cap to her specification causing it to crack and crinkle into its former self. It wasn’t lost on Lydia that her mom was with them the last time she had worn them, so she had to work harder than usual to push her mom from her mind. It was a hard task, constantly ignoring images of her mom her mind worked effortlessly to recall. At first she felt guilty ignoring those images, like she was erasing her mom even further from existence, but if she dwelled on her, the tears would start coming, and Lydia learned early on that crying didn’t bring her mom back.


Prohibiting her mom from her thoughts on an hourly basis was the hardest thing Lydia had ever had to learn to do in her young life. But no one coached her, no one taught her how to do it; she just forced herself to figure out how to suppress those memories, to drown out her mom’s laugh and switch off pictures of her smile, her sighs, her smirks, her voice.


Crying didn’t bring her mom back, nor did it bring her dad back.


But with her dad taking the initiative to do something even remotely connected with their past life, Lydia couldn’t help but assume that he was coming back around. They’d go to the game and laugh and root and eat chilidogs until they were sick. Just like last season and all the ones before.

By the time Lydia met him downstairs with the glove in her hand and cap on her head, her expectations were sky high. It was the first time she had let her dad see her smile since the day of her mom’s funeral. Her dad had insisted that she not go with him to attend the service since he didn’t think such an occasion was appropriate for someone her age, so he left her at home with a babysitter.


When he had returned home that night Lydia heard her mom’s laughter coming from the living room. She shot out of her room and down the stairs as if Melissa Joan Hart herself were waiting to meet her. But when she got to the living room, she found only her dad on the couch with the blue light of the television dancing on him. He was watching the home video montage the funeral home apparently had given him. She stood behind him and watched her mother take a bite of wedding cake her dad was offering to her on a fork.


Enamored by her mother’s usual beauty, Lydia sat down next to her dad and watched the grainy screen. The story of the montage went from her parents’ marriage, then a few clips from a vacation they’d gone on, to her mom’s pregnancy, and bringing Lydia home from the hospital. The next clip showed Lydia as a three year old where her mom gave her a stuffed lion. There was nothing particular about the lion; it had come from a gift shop, it wasn’t a brand-name character, it wasn’t clothed in any funny outfits or sports jerseys, it didn’t make any sounds, or move or dance. It was just a regular prairie lion with a mane and a bushy tail. But to Lydia, at the age of three, it was anything but ordinary. It had come from her mother—a random gift from the heart, and something she rarely left alone in the years to come.


The montage had proceeded forward, the stuffed lion now a permanent member of the cast.


One of the more recent clips was a shot of her mom singing “Don’t Worry Baby” one night in her bedroom after she had tucked Lydia into bed, who was nuzzling her lion’s soft mane.


“Don’t worry baby,” she sung in a cooing voice. “Everything will turn out all right. Don’t worry baby…”

Her mom was synonymous with the Beach Boys. Sure, she’d listen to some Rod Stewart, and a little bit of Michael Jackson, but the Beach Boys were her anchor in the world of music. Her dad joined in from behind the camera in a high-pitched falsetto: “Oh what she does to me… when she makes love to—”

“Shh! You can’t sing that part,” her mom scolded. The camera jerked and tilted as she swung at the cameraman, who managed to avoid the playful punch to the stomach.

You sing it, then,” he said, not irritably. Lydia could be heard giggling from her bed.


Elizabeth sang to the same tune, “I just want one more hug… from my Lydi-bug. Isn’t that better?”

That was the last time Lydia heard her term of endearment used. She smiled every time at that, and that night in the living room next to her dad was no exception.


Looking back on that night years later, she would have liked to believe that her dad put his arm around her and held her close as they sat there on the couch together, but she came to learn that you can’t pretend memories into existence.

When she saw that the Chevy Nova had been called out of retirement Lydia knew things were about to return to normal. The Chevy was only used for special occasions, and this day was definitely going to be one of them.

Henry navigated through the cross streets of Los Angels to avoid the traffic on I-5. He never attempted small talk with Lydia—or any sort of talk for that matter. But this car ride was a little stranger than just silence; it was an intentional, pregnant silence—an avoidable silence. Normally, Lydia’s father just couldn’t pull out the words to speak, but this time felt very forced, as though he had something to say, but was intentionally holding back. She felt it, and her lion felt it. She squeezed his paw and waited patiently for the car ride to end.


When they arrived forty-five minutes later, the sights and sounds returned to Lydia immediately. The large crowds of anxious fans, the smell of popcorn and hotdogs, the freshly-mowed grass of the patiently awaiting field, the crowded bathrooms. It was glorious. Sitting six rows above the dugout, Lydia allowed herself to imagine her mom seated just on the other side of her dad holding a magazine only intending to read it but never actually opening it. She had spent so much time trying to figure out what her daughter and husband found so fascinating about the men on the field scrambling after a small white ball.

“We’re losing,” said Henry leaning toward Lydia amongst the boos and jeers from the disgruntled fans. “Bad start for the season.”


Lydia snapped her head toward him in wonder that he was actually speaking to her.


“Tell you what,” he said, looking around at the angry people and clawing at his knees. “I’m gonna fix that.”

Lydia looked up at him, curiously, clutching her glove and lion together.


“In a minute I’m gonna have you close your eyes. You’ll close your eyes and I’m gonna change the score. What would you like the score to be? I’ll make it 7-3, how’s that? Dodgers 7, Marlins 3.” He was giddy as a child on the last day of school, stringing his sentences together into one word by this point. “Okay. Now close your eyes and open them only when I tell you, then the score’ll be changed and we’ll win the game. How’s that sound? Sound good?”

Semi-filled with the hope of a naïve nine year old, still wanting to believe her dad could do anything, Lydia humored him and closed her eyes. The angry yells from the surrounding spectators continued and she felt her dad get up from his chair as its hinges squeaked from relief. She peeked out of the corner of her eye and watched him scurry down the row of people toward the aisle and jog up the steps. What was he doing? She giggled, like old times, at his silly antic. Surely he had some surprise in store for her.


The announcer welcomed Marlin’s third baseman Terry Pendleton to the plate. Not wanting to miss the game, Lydia watched as the ball thudded in the catcher’s glove. It would be a few more years before that catcher swept the nation with his stunning .362 batting average—the highest ever by a catcher in the history of the National League. But for now he was just the catcher for the L.A. Dodgers, who had at least achieved the most home runs by any rookie catcher just the year before. They almost went to that game, but Henry couldn’t quite bring himself to it because he still couldn’t do anything that remotely reminded him of his wife.


Lydia only started to grow nervous when several minutes passed and he didn’t return. What was so crucial that he felt the need to leave his little girl unattended at a crowded baseball stadium for so long?

“It’s a double,” came the announcer’s voice somewhere outside of Lydia’s fading world. “DeShields stops it with an easy catch. He tosses it back to Martinez as Colbrunn takes the plate. The windup. The pitch…”

But Lydia didn’t see the result. Even though she was staring at the field through her fingers, she didn’t see if it was a strikeout or a hit. The game wasn’t at all important anymore—it hardly even existed. She clutched her glove and her lion like they were lifelines, keeping her from sinking into an abyss of total confusion.


She just wanted to see her dad—a feeling she hadn’t had in a very long time. She closed her eyes for real and made a lonely nine year old’s wish, that he would come back to her. Not just there at the stadium, on row six, but back from his own death, back from his own self-inflicted comatose.


With her eyes closed, the people around her grew intensely loud, which was strange because as far as Lydia was concerned, there was no game to root for. The world around her had shrunk down to just those hundreds of nameless Dodger fans whooping and hollering wordless sounds at the top of their lungs making her ears ring. Even when she opened her eyes the field was nothing but a plateau of grass and the players were scattering around it like ants. All she could focus on was the empty seat to her left and the never-ending row of people she watched her dad shovel past seemingly hours ago.

A mild panic began to set in. Kidnappings weren’t as common in those days, but still they happened, and the evening news didn’t censor those stories, so all Lydia could think of was how she should respond if someone were to grab her arm and pull her away from her seat to who knows where. Her mother had notoriously given her instructions on how to respond if someone were to try and take her. Odd, how now she couldn’t recall her mother’s words when she actually needed to.

She found a screw on the back of the metal chair in front of her and locked her gaze on it as though it were an anchor keeping her from floating away and becoming hopelessly lost in the chaos swirling around her. She focused on the rusted scratch marks left by the screwdriver that spun it into place.


A patch of softness rested on the back of her hand.


It’s okay.


How do you know?


Because you’re still here.


Lydia could not refute this and the statement itself didn’t really help much.


Plus, there’s still time for your dad to show up…


Despite the attempts of encouragement, it became increasingly hard to breathe. Lydia fought back tears as her mind raced in a hundred different directions at once. She continued to clutch her lion tighter and its paw fell from her hand. The screw grew bigger, filling up her entire line of vision. It wasn’t yet necessary to make a scene, or even acknowledge to anyone that something was wrong. Besides, whom would she go to for help if her dad didn’t return? She jumped when the surrounding strangers all hopped to their feet in another wild uproar. Their excitement grossly contrasted her fears like she was a drop of oil in a lake, setting her completely apart. Their naivety angered her.

The crowd settled back down as Lydia made plans to slip away the next time they were called to their feet. She hoped no one would notice and that she would be able to find a police officer or anyone in uniform. He’d understand her predicament and sit with her until her dad returned. Or he’d walk with her and help her find him. Either way, when they found him, the officer would just explain that she was afraid and everything would be all right.

Just as she worked up the nerve to get up from her seat, Henry turned down their row and resumed his seat next to Lydia as if simply returning from the bathroom. But to her, he almost looked like an angel of light ascending toward her, so thrilled was she to see him.


“We’re still losing,” Henry said, shaking his head and taking his seat. Having completely forgotten about the game, Lydia wasn’t sure at first what he was even talking about. “Do you know why we’re still losing?” he persisted.


Lydia shook her head.


“You opened your eyes,” he said accusingly. “I told you not to open them until I said you could. I can’t change the score unless you cooperate. Why did you open your eyes, Lydia?”

She couldn’t tell him. She couldn’t answer his senseless question and she couldn’t recount the horrifying experience he had just put her through, not that he would have cared.

They watched the rest of the game in silence, neither cheering nor booing. Lydia acted as though her dad didn’t exist, and he acted as if he didn’t want her to.


Not until two decades later, when he recounted to her his side of events, did Lydia learn where he went and why he was gone for so long. Never, in all that time, could she have guessed that it had everything to do with seeing her mom again.

4 New Book Announcements from the Author of The Man in the Box

man in box










It’s been a busy year for us Toys. Aside from bringing our beloved foster daughter into our home, having some major job changes, helping one of our pups recover from back surgery, I’ve also been very busy writing my next few books.

Many of you may have read my debut novel The Man in the Box, and may be excited to know that a bigger, more suspense-filled revised edition is due sometime down the road. But in the meantime, I’m excited to share with you brief details about my next four books.

I Am the Lion (2014) fiction

The story of a young girl, Lydia, raised by her widowed, bipolar father who struggle to find common ground. Only when Lydia’s fourth-grade teacher steps into their lives do they slowly build a connection, but that bond is threatened when a secret comes out that threatens to scar Lydia for the rest of her life.

Oskar (2015) young readers

Meet Oskar, a dachshund who lives in Germany in the year 1940. He aspires to be a Nazi like his role models, but when he meets a young Jewish girl, he learns what the Nazis’ agenda really is, and changes course.

Untitled Ghost novel (TBA) teen 

A boy and a girl are best friends until he dies in an accident. He visits her as a ghost, living life vicariously through her, laughing with her, playing with her, singing with her, and falling in love with her.

Tomorrow’s War (TBA) fiction

Several families struggle to survive as unknown forces affect the earth’s weather from above.

Leave a comment below. Which book are you most looking forward to? And happy reading!

So You Want to Write Part 11 – How to AVOID Writer’s Block

Pages and pages of suggested cures and tips for overcoming writer’s block are easily accessible to the afflicted all across the Web. With a quick Google search there’s no end of  advice for overcoming the author’s worst enemy.

Jon-Acuff(A good page I came across recently is on Jon Acuff’s page – he often gives sound advice.)

But rest assured, I’m not going to add to the potpourri of suggested writer’s block cures.

Read on.


I appreciate when my GPS warns me of potential roadside construction, traffic jams, and tumblr_mz0tciaEZ11t35jb8o1_400large bodies of water that might obstruct or delay my end goal of reaching my destination.

So instead of giving you some cures for writer’s block, I’m going to give you a few tips on how to avoid it in the first place. But keep in mind, nothing is a guarantee – and the absolute best tool you can put to use is your own ambition, which is something no one can give you but yourself.



1. Keep your story interesting

I’ve found that most of the time I run out of something to writer or get stuck, is not because I’ve lost momentum, but because I’ve lost interest. The book (or story) might still be a great concept, but somewhere along the way I took a wrong turn, or I’ve lingered too long on an anticlimactic scene. Avoid this by always having an ending point in mind for each particular scene. If you’re writing at point A, know the steps you need to take to get to point B, and take them. Remember, if you lose interest, your readers will certainly give up reading.

2. Write different

In X-Men: The Last Stand, there’s a scene where big, tough Wolverine gives this super-Joey-dave-coulier-30111015-300-225cheesy speech about how “we’re X-Men; we stand together.” I mean, seriously? Look kids, it’s Joey Gladstone with claws and sideburns! It’s a painful scene to watch. We’ve all heard the “We are united” speech a million times. Blah, blah, blah. Avoid stuff like that. If you don’t, you’ll read over your work in a week, realize how bad it is, and lose stamina and fall into a permanent writer’s block. Stop copying templates; write your own template.

3. Don’t read too much

e0fc57b64b14ce730c828ca088394c1b_answer_4_xlargeI cannot agree enough with all of the advice for curing writer’s block which says, “Read great books.” Yes, read books of your book’s genre. Read award-winning books. Read! But don’t read, read, read. I struggle with this more than anything else. First off, reading takes time away from writing. Secondly, you might end up with more good ideas or ah-ha moments than you know what to do with. And though that’s better than having no ideas, it can become overwhelming and next thing you know, a block has been dropped in your writing groove.

4. Always, always, ALWAYS have something unpredictable in mind

Whether your outlining your book or writing by the seat of your pants (plotter or pantser), tumblr_m8fcinfzZT1r76lino1_400you should always have some major plot point in the distant future that’s so unpredictable, so unthinkable, so surprising that you just can’t wait to get to that scene and shock the life out of your readers. This makes for great storytelling and plot twists, but it also provides gallons of stamina to keep those fingers flying over your keyboard at 230 wpm. (Tip: resist the urge to write that scene ahead of time; work up to it. It’ll be like a reward when you finally reach it. If it’s shocking enough, you won’t even need to take note of it.)

5. Write multiple books at once

This might not be feasible for most people, since everyone has a good book in them, not “books.” But since my end goal is to be a bestselling author, I’m working on three books right now (all very different genres). If I need a change, I simply switch over to another book just to help keep things fresh.

6. Observe the world as though it’s your book

alien-invasionOne of my books is about a world-wide alien invasion. Quite often I stop and look up at the sky and wonder what the guy walking his dog would do if he were being shot at from an invisible spaceship. Or when I’m watching The Office with my wife, I’ll catch myself wondering what we’d do if everything just went black and things started blowing up around us. This helps me add scenes or thoughts or feelings that otherwise would not have been in the book, thus more material to write.

Follow these steps, and you’ll be that much closer to that coveted “The end.” Happy writing! And remember, it’s the weekend; not the work-end.

It Doesn’t Stop at The Hunger Games

gregor series

While writing my young readers historical fiction book about a dachshund in Nazi Germany, I’ve been reading two types of books: historical books surrounding the Nazi era and young readers books.

While it’s pretty easy to find really enthralling historical books, young readers books that aren’t dumbed down are kind of hard to come by, outside of Harry Potter and a few classical works.

My wife and I are big fans of The Hungers Games books, so I asked her, “Would you be interested in reading Suzanne Collins children’s book series?”

“What are they about?”

“This kid who goes underground and meets giant bugs and rats and spiders and stuff.”

“No way,” she said. “That sounds gross.”

So, I got her the set for Christmas.

You may be reading this and thinking, I’ve heard of Collins’s young readers books, and giant insects and stuff just don’t appeal to me.

Let me tell you that Sarabeth and I have both read the series since Christmas and are in love with Gregor the Overlander.

Don’t judge a book before you read it. Suzanne Collins is at the top of her game with her Gregor series. There are very similar themes as in The Hunger Games, and even though they’re directed at young readers instead of teens, I’m not quite sure the subject matter is any less impactful and thought-provoking.

Gregor is a twelve-year-old boy who accidentally falls down the laundry chute with his two-year-old sister, Boots. Together, they fall down, down, down to the Underland, an entire underground world that exists underneath New York City.

There, they befriend humans and giant cockroaches and spiders and bats – who are the main mode of transportation. Like The Hunger Games, hardly anything in these books is at all predictable.

The first book, Gregor the Overlander, was a wonderful introduction to this dark world, and introduced probably one of my favorite literary characters of all time (he’s a giant rodent) who remains a key player throughout the series. Books 2-3 weren’t as captivating, but there’s enough action that young kids – boys or girls – would enjoy them. Book 4, The Marks of Secret, was a good prelude to the final book of the series – The Code of Claw – which was one of the coolest, and heartbreaking, conclusions to a series I can remember.

Collins is a master at causing you to feel sympathy for her characters, be they people, cockroaches, bats, or rats. Her plots are very deep and interwoven, but not so complicated that an eight-year-old wouldn’t get it.

Sarabeth and I will both be returning to these books very soon, and will most definitely pass them down to our kids (though because there are some very gruesome and gory scenes, we would suggest no younger than eight, depending on the child’s maturity level).

But even if you don’t have kids and you’re just looking for a great series to get immersed in, I can’t recommend Gregor enough. Another treat by Collins, is her children’s picture book, Year of the Jungle, which serves as sort of her mini-autobiography and explains a lot about the inspiration behind her books.


So You Wanna Write Part 8: Knowing When to Stop



Ever read the Bone saga by Jeff Smith? You should no matter who you are.

Years ago I was reading an article by Mr. Smith and he said something that changed my writing habits for life.

He was talking about his writing process while developing Bone. He said something like, “You’ve just got to know when to stop and skip a scene and come back to it later.”

That tip has done wonders for my writing. And, it’s a great tool to combat writer’s block. If you’re willing to skip a difficult scene and move on ahead of the story to construct something further down the timeline, then your book or story isn’t just sitting in limbo.

Be willing to skip scenes. Heck, on your first draft, be willing to be sloppy! I’m in the process of writing a young readers historical novel and it’s very sloppy right now – the facts are all wrong, the setting’s a mess – but that’s why I’m going to go back and fix all that.

When you buy a building for your business you don’t start adding up your funds right away or upgrading your product line. You’re focused on one thing initially, and that’s location.

The same with writing. Don’t worry about the details on your first draft. Worry about one thing only – story, story, story!

John Lasseter, CCO of Pixar and Walt Disney Animation Studios says, “Every single Pixar film, at one time or another, has been the worst movie ever put on film.”

In fact, no animated movie has ever been filmed chronologically. They may even start with the third act, and the opening scene may be the last thing they work on. For my historical novel, I have the entire ending drafted already, and I’m not even in the second act!

Be willing to skip around, get messy, get scattered, and in the end, it’ll all come together.

So You Wanna Write Part 7: That Opening Scene

blue velvet curtain opening sceneThat first click of the keyboard.

That first scrawl of the pen.

That first scene.

You have an idea of what your story will be about. You know who your characters will be and you know what time period it will be set in and where it takes place. Heck, you may even have your premise written out. (We’ll talk more about these subjects in later posts.)

But for now you just want to get started. No more putting it off. You’re writing this book and it starts now

But how do you start it? Do you open with a dark, mysterious scene? Do you open up with a traumatic scene from your protagonist’s childhood? Do you maybe start with a scene that takes place in the middle of your book that you’ll come back to later?

No matter what you decide to start with, keep this in mind:

It will likely not work. Your opening will probably stink and have no connection to the rest of your book. (Now, there are definitely exceptions to this, I realize.)


Almost every movie I’ve watched the commentary for nearly had a completely different opening.

My book The Man in the Box had so many different openings that my wife said that she didn’t want to read another draft until the book was finished. She actually kept getting the different versions mixed up and could no longer critique it with a fresh eye.

Another example that comes immediately to mind is the opening scene to Monsters University. You’ll recall that when Mike shows up to college, he’s traveling by himself on a crowded bus. mike-wazowski

The filmmakers actually had a completely different opening scripted and animated where Mike’s parents drop him off at school. The Pixar guys said they were very happy with the opening, and that it was very funny. But one day during a board meeting someone spoke up and suggested that it would make a much bigger impact if Mike arrived at school by himself, to give the impression that it was him against the world, with no one there to support him.

The point is, as happy as you might be with your opening scene, you’ve got to ask yourself, “Does it do the most service for the rest of my book?” You’ve got to be willing to change it.

Even if you can’t come up with an idea, start writing! You’re going to back and change it anyway.

The Thrilling Three

You’re all familiar with Disney’s phenomenal five (Mermaid, Beauty, Aladdin, Lion, and Frozen). But let’s look at the other end of the genre spectrum – suspense and thrillers.

There are three movies that I think are the masters of suspense, and they conveniently fall into three of the seven narrative conflicts (man vs. man, man vs. God, man vs. nature, man vs. science, man vs. technology, man vs. self, man vs. supernatural).

Let’s take a look at my top three picks.


Jurassic Park  (m v. s) –  You can watch almost any of Spielberg’s movies and rightly claim that it’s his best. Jurassic Park is certainly one such movie. He builds suspense in the first half of the movie by giving the allusion that something is about to go terribly wrong in the amusement park. And in the second half, when the electricity goes out, that anxiety and those nerve pay off. I still consider Jurassic Park to be amongst one of the greatest thrillers of all time. (By the way, who’s pumped about JPIV??)



Speed  (m v. m) – For man v. man, this was a toss up between Speed and River Wild. You’d think that River Wild would have come out on top, considering how badly Dennis Hopper butchers his character (and how naturally creepy Kevin Bacon is), but it’s just a little easier to believe in a highjacked bus than a family vacation gone wrong where the bad guys could very well just walk along the river to their freedom.


Twister (m v. n) – Am I really outdated for still liking this movie? I’ve seen plenty of disaster films from Dante’s Peak to 2012. But nothing has yet to come close to Helen Hunt’s desperation to get the Dorothy to fly and warn neighbors of the impending doom. Plus, the soundtrack is awesome to listen to when you’re driving through a wild storm in the summer.

(A fun fact: Those three movies are all related. Twister was made by the producer of Jurassic Park and the director of Speed.)

I’ve yet to come up with the ultimate movies for man v. God, man v. supernatural, man v. society, man v. technology, and man v. self (can I nominate my book The Man in the Box for this last one?).

Do you agree with my three picks? Do you have any suggestions for the other narrative conflicts (book or movie)? If so, list them below!


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