What I Learned From Michael Scott

On March 25, 2005, Jerry Seinfeld, Tim Allen, and the cast of Friends stepped out of sight of adoring fans to make room for the newest addition of what would become a multi-Emmy-winning sitcom, unlike any the United States had ever seen before. And it would continue for nine years, taking its final bow on May 15, 2013.

Admittedly, NBC’s The Office has been lagging for the past two years, but being diehard fans of the show, the Toy household is still sad to bid farewell. With the season finale airing tonight, I thought it would be appropriate to tip our hats to this prime time phenomenon.

I’d like to point out that with Michael Scott being the heartbeat of the show, I think it’s fair to say the show died the night he left us with the words, “Let me know if this ever airs.” The last two years have been merely a memorial service, trying to recapture the life that once existed, like harnessing the ghost of a once-lively person – but couldn’t. Some jokes given by the cast of eulogists were good, and many were bad. But tonight, we gather for the long-awaited burial.

I hope and expect to use up every hankie in the house.

I’m not ashamed that I think Michael Scott is one of the most depth-filled, widely developed, funniest TV characters of all time. (Okay, truth be told, if Sarabeth would let me, I would have a poster of him hanging up in our bedroom.) But just because you’re funny doesn’t mean you’re bright. And so, in honor of the show’s ending, I thought it would be fun to take a look back and remember some good times with the world’s best boss.

(Forgive me if this seems out of place on my blog, but I just can’t help paying homage to my favorite show. Office fans, read,  remember, and laugh.)

WHAT I LEARNED FROM MICHAEL SCOTT

Don’t promise an entire class of kids that you’ll pay their college tuition until you have the funds to do so.

Don’t write an age-sensitive joke in a woman’s “bird-day” card.

Don’t conduct a meeting on obesity dressed in a fat suit.

If you’re going to fake-fire someone, make sure you have the punch-line right. (“You’ve been X’d, punk!”)

You can’t declare bankruptcy by yelling it.

Giving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to a dead bird does nothing.

Clear it with your boss before you announce in front of the whole company what branch is closing down.

Don’t invite your friends/colleagues over to a dinner party if you’re forced to sleep at the end of the bed in your own house.

Don’t hold a roast in honor of yourself. It actually might hurt your feelings.

It is, in fact, a “dog-eat-dog” world, not a “doggie-dog” world.

Abraham Lincoln never said, “I will attack you with the north.” (Though it has long been our favorite Lincolnian saying in our house.)

If the building is presumptuously on fire, and you’re a man, and the manager, don’t be the first one to run outside like a frightened little girl.

If you’re going to a job fair to represent a paper company, you might want to have some paper with you.

Don’t hold the pizza delivery guy hostage just so you can get your discount.

Watch out for indoor ponds.

Goodbye Office. We will miss you and forever continue to watch your DVD’s.

Feel free to add your own favorite Office moments.

[Image Credit]

Life of Pi: To Read or to Watch … That’s the Question, Isn’t it?

Sarabeth and I sat down to watch Life of Pi less than an hour after I finished reading the book. Having read the book of course, I was extremely excited for the movie – and curious as to how it had maintained just a PG rating.

I know some of my readers have yet to see the movie, or even read the book. Or maybe you’ve seen it, but not read it or visa-versa. So you’re wondering, is it worth reading or is it worth watching?

Allow me to share my thoughts on both written and visual depictions of the story by Yann Martel.

Life of Pi by Yann Martel. Let me tell you, the first few sentences had me hooked. Now, let me make clear to you: I’m not blind to the fact that this book’s cover may have well been a picture of those “Coexist” bumper stickers. (Somebody pointed out at church recently that we already do coexist, so what’s the point of the sticker?)

I read books with many different hats on. I found myself having to switch hats on many different occasions while reading this piece of work.

As a blogger and book reviewer, I couldn’t wait to share this exciting read with my readers.

As an author, I learned many  new tricks from Mr. Martel, and am indebted to his bravery of venturing into new territories, and am awed by his storytelling abilities. He truly has proved himself a master of fiction.

As a husband, I sounded like this throughout the last two weeks: “Sarabeth, this book has a lot of potential” … “Sarabeth, I don’t agree with his religious outlook, but he’s such a great writer, I don’t care!” … “Umm… this book is really gory. You might not be able to read it” … “I just threw up” … “I just cried like a baby.” … “Finished. Let’s start the movie.”

But as a Christian, I was not blinded to the overt inclusivistic themes of the book.

(To be sure, the movie hammered those themes much more than the book did.)

I will say that it was extremely fascinating to hear the account of Christianity retold through the eyes of a Hindu/Muslim (yes, the main character Pi subscribes to both religions, plus Christianity).

I am a huge proponent of seeing the world (and God) through the eyes of non-Christians, which is one reason why I think it’s pointless for Christians to only read theology-based books, or listen to only Christian music.

There are so many passages from the book I wanted to share on this post to you all, but space (and time) limit me. So for the sake of story, I truly hope many of you get a chance to read this book. I would be remiss in not warning you however, as I hinted above, that the book is extremely gory at times, and could be overly upsetting to many animal-lovers.

Life of Pi directed by Ang Lee. If anything stood in my way from watching the movie, it would have been director Ang Lee’s weak reputation as a movie director. Need I say more than 2003′s all-time disaster Hulk? That, and his insistance on being controversial, i.e. Brokeback Mountain.

But people have redeemed themselves before. Everyone deserves another chance.

I think Ang Lee did the story more harm than good. I don’t know if it was his decision to add all the weird New Age-y special effects, which really served as nothing more than a New Age mini-sermon disrupting the story, or Hollywood’s insistance to cash out on the 3d rage. Either way, the exagerated color schemes and light shows were all for naught, in my opinion.

I never felt that sense of hopelessness and fear and desperation that we should have felt from Pi since falling into the lifeboat. There was never that Cast Away feel of being alone and missing the life that has forgotten you thousands and thousands of miles away.

Danny Boyle, director of 127 Hours would have been a shoe-in for this project. He knows how to make the audience thirsty for a single drop of water. With a certain, magical way of filmmaking, he can trap every audience member’s hand between a rock and a wall, and convince us all to long for a knife to saw off our arm. That’s exactly the kind of director Life of Pi needed.

I would suggest watching the movie if you simply can’t get to the book. Because, in Lee’s defense, he does stay true to the story, despite his weird detours and out-of place special effects.

In summary. Despite my disagreement with Yann Martel’s vision of God, I will eagerly anticipate his next book.

I think Ang Lee has run out of chances with me.

What are your thoughts? Do you prefer the book or the movie?

My Review of Lincoln

Think about it.

There’s probably not a person over sixteen alive today living in America that hasn’t seen a Steven Spielberg movie.

Unless they’re Amish.

Or blind.

Still. I always say, “We can all use a little more Spielberg in our lives.”

Alright, alright, so he messed up with the snore-fest War Horse (I still don’t know what it was about!). And maybe The Lost World didn’t come close to living up to its predecessor – but no one’s perfect, right?

I mean, I’m not a perfect husband; I’ve snapped at my wife a time or two.

Pixar made Cars 2

Congress voted in favor of Obamacare. (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

Anyway, all that to say, that Lincoln, though not meant to be watched for entertainment value, is far from being a mistake.

I think Spielberg actually did a masterful job, not at creating a blockbuster or a compelling story-on-film, but a rich, well-informed, educational, and (mostly) accurate documentary of the efforts to pass the 13th amendment.

Be sure, this film is not about the Civil War, nor did I feel like it was really about our sixteenth president. The film focused mainly on the collective efforts of the Republicans to persuade the House of Representatives to pass Lincoln’s proposed amendment, not necessarily for the purposes of freeing the slaves (though that was a sparkling side-effect), but to end the war on the terms of unification of the nation.

Abraham Lincoln was undoubtably one of the greats. I loved how Spielberg highlighted his political genius, and the great efforts and strains he endured to have his pure resolve brought to fruition.

Sarabeth and I were both tense leading up to the assassination, (btw, spoilers ahead) but we were relieved that it was not shown. It honestly would have been too traumatic for any patriot to see – even replicated – on screen. I think it was very honorable that Spielberg spared the audience such images, as I’m sure he knew it could draw criticism from the rougher audiences.

Passing over the assassination was akin to Oliver Stone purposefully choosing not to show the planes crashing into the towers in his film World Trade Center, diverting attention from the praise-seeking sadists. 

I will say, if you want to learn more about the historical assassination, and how Booth suffered miserably in his last days, you really need to pick up the book Manhunt by Swanson. (It’ll also give you an idea of what Dzhokhar Tsarnaev went through last week in Massachusetts.) Even then, in written form, Lincoln’s untimely death brought me to near tears.

“Should we buy it?” is a question often asked in our house after we watch a rental.

My answer: “It’s nothing I would look forward to watching again in a hurry. But I think it’s worth having on hand to show our kids when they’re studying about him in school.”

Keep the cameras rolling, Mr. Spielberg.

Please Buy My Movies

This picture on your left, these are the movies we’re keeping.

[A link to the ones we're selling is at the bottom of this page. There are plenty to go around.]

Let me rewind.

I’ve always taken pride in my movie collections. This dates all the way back to VHS tapes when the Disney movies were more special because they’re the only ones that came in those cool rubber-smelling white cases, setting them apart from the cardboard sleeves every other movie came in.

Remember those? Yeah, they were so cool!

And alphabetizing! I love alphabetizing! When Boo knocks down Mike Wazowski’s CD’s in Monster’s Inc., I  always feel his pain because “Those were alphabetized!”

Well, as the title of my blog suggests, we’re trying to adopt a kid. We’ve got our first case study scheduled for early next month (Yeah! Progress!) and our front bedroom – soon to be our kid’s room – is a complete disaster. Check out Sarabeth’s blog post for more gruesome details on that.

One thing that’s taken up most space in our loft is movies. I was a much bigger movie buff as a bachelor than I am now – so a whopping collection of unneeded movies was part of the baggage I carried into our marriage. There are just too many that I wouldn’t care for our kids to ever come across (like The Punisher or Austin Powers in Goldmember …remember, folks: baggage), or that we just will never be bored enough to watch again (Look Who’s Talking and What About Bob?).

Well, to help create more space, we decided to get rid of the cases and just put the discs in CD holders.

Gasp!

Sarabeth’s only been suggesting this for months.

You might as well get rid of the movies, then, right? I mean, half the fun is displaying them for everyone to see, if not for a change of interior color, then they can serve as a great conversation starter for guests.

But ultimately, Sarabeth’s approach made the most sense. I mean, adoption requires some sacrifice, right?

So yesterday, I supressed my pain and just went at it without thinking. I alphabetized over 400 DVD discs and tossed their beautiful, colorful cases in the dumpster.

And I got to thinking.

The Christian life is like that a little, isn’t it? I mean, we’re all DVD discs in a way. Certainly we’re all well-rounded, right? Not to mention maybe a few scratches on us and a big God-shaped hole in the middle. (Okay, no more jokes.)

But really, we’re full of so much information. We have good moments and bad that we’ll all account for in the end. Our built-in menus are like our mood-changers, and some of us are even fluent in other languages! Some need subtitles to be understood, and others have so many special features and complexities that some therapists don’t even know where to start!

And sometimes we like the way we’ve been packaged. We’re glittery and shiny and colorful on the outside for the world to look at and be drawn to. But there’s no way for us to connect with others but to just stand up next to them, shoulder-to-shoulder.

Not much community going on there.

Until you toss the glittery exterior and make yourself – your true self – vulnerable enough to be packed in a CD case with others. Or packed into a house, or a church, or a community.

Who knows? Maybe a little of the integrity and honor of Saving Private Ryan will rub off on the sometimes sappy Titanic. (I’m not selling those, so don’t bother checking.)

Either way, because I went through the task of stripping down my DVD cases, there’s now more room for toys and a crib in our child’s room.

What will there be more room of when you decide to strip down your own fancy exterior? Who knows? Give it a try, and see what happens.

Help us make room for our child and get rid of some of this stuff by buying our unwanted movies here. (My seller user name is atoy1.) And keep checking back. I’ll be updating it for the next couple of days!

(For some reason, Amazon isn’t letting me sell a few products. I’ve got Full House seasons 1-7 – don’t ask, don’t tell – which I can sell for $15.00 each or $100 for the whole set, and Everybody Loves Raymond seasons 1-5 for $25 each or $110 for the set. Email me at andrewtoy1208@aol.com to talk business.)

Our Full Potential

Sarabeth and I watched Adam Sandler’s Mr. Deeds last night. I (reluctantly) admit it’s one of the funnier movies in our small comedy collection. Watching it, I kept thinking, What happened, Adam?

As goofy as his movies are, we actually enjoy a small handful of his older ones.

Several years ago, he took a detour from his usual comedy routine and stared in a few dramatic movies, one of them being  Reign Over Me, one of my personal favorite movies. Besides telling a vivid post-9/11 story of pain and honesty in a broken world, it really showcased Sandler’s true talent and potential for what seemed to be the budding of his acting career.

The movie was timely because I, along with many fans, were growing tired of his slapstick hijinks and repeatedly silly antics. His next movie dealt with a serious issue alright, but not in a serious way. I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry was so offensive and filthy that I literally took a shower after watching just half of it. (It is very, very difficult to offend me.)

He then goes on to make several more silly movies, continuing to refuse to show any depth, and then, just to taunt those of us who would like to support him (if only he’d grow up), he stars in a movie called – of all things - Grown Ups (which scored a whopping 9% approval rating on Rottentomatoes – but don’t worry, that won’t deter Sandler or his producers from hawking out a sequel.)

Needless to say, with the exception of Chuck and Larry, it’s been seven years since I’ve supported or seen anything new by him.

But in that small stint of time between 2004 and 2006, Adam Sandler showed true potential. I’m reminded of my high school days. I scored an A in my Creative Writing class, which prompted my mom to say, “You see? I know you’re capable of getting A’s! This proves it!”

Adam Sandler proved to the world that he was capable of more than just joke repetition, senseless beatings, and fart jokes.

It wasn’t long ago when I said to Sarabeth, “We need some more Leo in our lives.” Leonardo DiCaprio is an actor whose career choices I highly respect and admire. He could have very easily remained as the pretty boy Hollywood made him out to be in his younger days, but instead, he chose to mature with the years. His movie choices are age-related, and aren’t just ones that will keep the girls storming after him like lemmings over a cliff (though, I’m sure they still do that). From Catch Me if You Can to Aviator, he has truly reached and kept his full potential over the years.

What about you?

Are you just sticking with what’s comfortable? Or are you stretching yourself, pushing yourself, to be better in your field, your hobbies, your dreams, your career?

Don’t settle for what you were good at yesterday. Discover what you could be good at tomorrow, and keep pressing forward.

Imagination Run Amuck

Jurassic Park is making its grand reappearance in theaters today. I remember seeing it a few times in theaters twenty years ago. Those were good times.

One of my earliest memories of Sarabeth and I dating long-distance is her mentioning something on the phone about Jurassic Park that I never caught before.

I fell deeper in love with her that day.

This dino-romping, spine-tingling movie is great in so many ways. I like to think it was gutsy of the late author, Michael Crichton, to write an adult novel about people living among dinosaurs.

Amusement park attractions break lose and terrorize the visitors! 

Sounds more like a Goosebumps plot, doesn’t it?

Perhaps Crichton purposefully took a kids’ concept and spun it with a grown-up appeal. It seems like this methodology has taken root over the last couple of years.

You’ve got shows like Once Upon a Time and Grimm – Fairy tales coming to life.

Movies such as Jack the Giant Killer and Hansel and Grettle are stealing Hollywood’s spotlight. And weren’t there several dozen movies about Snow White recently?

And while adult movies are trying to reach for the kid in us, kids movies seem to be appealing more and more to the adult in us. What father can’t relate to Marlin in Finding Nemo? What mother can’t help but root for reconciliation between Marida and the queen in Brave? And need I mention the uncertainty of passing from childhood to adulthood in Toy Story 3?

Michael Crichton and Steven Spielberg together created a masterpiece that, in its day, was quite revolutionary – a kids’ movie, wrapped in a grown-up package that will appeal to all ages.

I may be wrong here. I know there are some people who would never let their nine year old watch Jurassic Park. I saw it at that age and I had the time of my life. It was the most fun I ever had being scared out of my wits!

Because they were dinosaurs! I’m not talking about blood-sucking vampires or eye-gouging zombies (or whatever they do), or ungodly exorcisms. I’m talking about good ol’ cowboys-and-Indians type of fun here.

To this day, Jurassic Park influences my storytelling and my day-to-day imagination. (Just the other day I heard what must have been a truck outside, and I asked the girls – the dogs – in all seriousness, “Was that a dinosaur?”)  Those who read my book know what I’m talking about, and see the influence Spielberg has had on me.

I’m not about to tell you to spend $50 to go see it in 3d when you likely already own it (we aren’t). But I am saying that we should appreciate the stories that appeal to both who we are on the outside (tax-paying, hard-working adults) and who we yearn to be on the inside (carefree kids who like to be spooked every now and then).

And who knows? Maybe your kids will be as inspired as I was by Jurassic Park, and, like Crichton, have the courage to let their imagination run amuck.

[Image Credit]

A Brilliant and All-American Documentary

It’s snowing outside the coffee shop right now as I write this. March is just struggling to hang in there, and determined to go out leaving a legacy of the coldest March Louisville has seen in quite some time. (And yet, I still slurp on my ice-cold frappuccino because I couldn’t do a hot drink even if I were sinking with the Titanic.)

It’s snowing in late March. And despite that, baseball charges forward.

In just a few days, Robin’s words will seem almost prophetic: “Crackerjacks, Batman!”

Buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks.

Come March 31, the MLB will make its grand 2013 appearance.

The corn will be popping,

The Thwack of ball on glove will soon be heard by young Major League hopefuls,

The infield grass, whether laden with snow or not, will be mowed to code,

Freshly pressed uniforms will be donned for the first time since October.

And Ray Charles will echo the dazzling fizzes and pops of fireworks against star-lit nights with “God Bless America.”

Even though Sarabeth doesn’t celebrate America’s true pastime in her heart like I do, she still is gracious enough to tolerate my obsessiveness. I don’t follow any team in particular, and I don’t even keep up with the latest scores or modern-day greats, but I follow the history of baseball.

I love reading about the longest game ever played, learning about the scandals, and seeing how pop-culture icons can still use the game to re-spark a general interest in it by the public by telling freshly spun stories surrounding the game and how it relates to life.

I love baseball of old.

That’s why I’m recommending Ken Burns’ documentary simply entitled, Baseball. 

It’s a ten-part series, each episode two hours in length, and available to watch on Netflix Instant Watch.

Ken Burns literally picks the story up well before Baseball was even called that – Cricket, rounders, bat ball, ball, base-ball, baseball. The documentary tells about the game bringing Confederates and Unionists together during the Civil War, and early-day entrepreneurs attempting to introduce the game to Egypt, Saudi Arabia, and England where it was denounced as “Just a fancy form of the otherwise deplorable and infantile sport, rounders.”

Baseball.

It’s hard for me not to get choked up during the National Anthem being sung before a perfectly-cut diamond set in a bright green field.

Even though you’re covered in snow in this part of the country, welcome, Spring. Welcome. Curse us with your snow, but we will still lick cotton candy off our fingers, paint our hot dogs with red and yellow, and dress our burgers up with all the gifts that spring farms bring – freshly cut tomatoes, crisp lettuce, crunchy onions.

If, for some reason, you can’t make it to a game this summer, gather around the TV and watch history unfold on the baseball field, in the dugout, in the ticket booth, and in some of the greatest stadiums ever built upon this free land.

Check out Ken Burns’ Baseball. And relive America’s greatest pastime with those you love.

[Image Credit]