“There’s a Lot of Beauty in Ordinary Things”

Waking up. Morning routines. Commute. Coffee breaks. Homework.

These are all ordinary things. None of which will ever be the topic of a Jerry Bruckheimer movie.

We all have ordinary routines strung throughout our days. And more often than not, they can grow redundant, monotonous, and just plain boring.

That’s why a lot of us turn to other vices in order to shake things up a bit.

Last night I was lucky to get off work early enough to make it home in time to watch the finale of The Office with Sarabeth. Ironically, it was the first time we’d ever seen our favorite show on NBC the night of its airing.

My mini-review of it is at the bottom of this post.

The last line of the show was Pam’s words: “There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things.”

Sarabeth and I used to commute to work together, and though that got ordinary after a while, I still missed it when we no longer could do that.

When I took a job that required me to be there at 4 a.m., the first day I left was really sad for us because we could no longer have our routine breakfast together.

Our case study worker made her second visit night before last and she is going to recommend us for approval with the state! That doesn’t mean we’re approved yet, as they’re still waiting on some out-of-state paper work, but let’s just say we went ahead and ordered a pack-n-play and will be picking it up in a week or so!

But I am sure the novelty of having a child in the house will wear off at some point, and I’m sure I’ll grow tired of waking up every ten minutes to rock him or her back to sleep, and those things too, will become routine.

But may I heed the legacy that The Office left behind in our home, and remember that there’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things.

I’ve been trying to capture and remember those seemingly dull moments, because I know they won’t last.

Just this morning I found myself just standing outside the bathroom staring at our four year old puppy. She was just sitting there, staring back at me. It was dull and ordinary, but it was special. (Of course, Sarabeth had no idea what I was doing, so she ran over to give Pixie a hug and said I was just being weird, acting like a creeper/stalker… I captured that, too.)

So moral of the story is, people might think you’re weird, like pulling a George Banks at every sentimental or inconspicuous moment. But when you start shifting through memory lane down the end of your road, I doubt you’ll regret taking so many mental snapshots of your daily life.

NOW… about last night’s final episode: “Spoiler alert.”

All I can say is two words: Michael Scott.

He came back! Like a lost dog whom we’ve missed for so long. And it was perfect - absolutely perfect - that he only had two lines in the whole episode. It showed me that his character was so developed that even in his two year absence, he grew and matured. He no longer found his identity in front of the camera… He had matured and grew wiser in Colorado (our dream state) – and he has kids!!

As far as the rest of the episode goes, I think it went smoothly. It wasn’t quite Return of the King great, but as far as wrapping everything up and bringing each character to its closing, I felt like it was very satisfactory, and I was left with no questions.

Oh, and I’d like to point out the irony, that in yesterday’s blog post I mentioned how the finale would be like the actual burial of the show, and Dwight and Angela stood in their graves to be married. Thought that was kind of funny.

And I love that they danced to the Cars 2 theme song. With the exception of Brave, The Office has made a reference to every Pixar film. Yes, I’ve personally verified that myself.

All-in-all, Michael Scott’s two little lines cracked us up, and were funnier than the entire last season put together. But it was very well worth the wait.

Even as a writer, it’s not possible for me to put into words how much I will miss this show, and how happy I was to see Michael Scott one last time.

Marriage – A Beginning, Not an End

“Do you remember when I wanted to keep my tennis bag in your closet? It was our worst fight of 2006.”

“I remember that. I hated that. What if I needed to get my snorkel, okay? And I had to lift your dumb tennis bag to get it?”

“Imagine that times a million. That’s marriage. Except the closet is your entire life, and the tennis bag is a guy. And sometimes you will find his toenail clippings scattered around your toilet.”

[From The Mindy Project]

It seems marriage has become the topic of ridicule and mockery. I’m not bashing the new show the above quote is from – it’s actually quite funny and enjoyable, created by Mindy Kaling of The Office fame.

But it seems like the prestige and honor of marriage has been replaced by the glamor and dazzle of bachelorhood and promiscuity. Not that this is anything new.

But honestly, when is the last time you’ve heard a good word spoken about marriage? When is the last time you’ve spoken honorably about your spouse?

I’d say it’s funny, but it’s not. We spend the whole first part of our lives searching for our significant other – someone to spend the rest of our lives with. And then, when we find that person, we grow tired, and spend our time wanting out.

(The Man in the Box is a great book for those who feel this way.)

I, myself, often forget that marriage takes work. I take for granted that I don’t have to stress over who I’m going to take out on Friday night (not that that was often), or figure out some clever way to score a girl’s phone number (I got numbers to Bill’s Plumbing and Domino’s quite often).

Then I met Sarabeth. I achieved the Big Yes. I said “I do” …At 25.

If I live to be a hundred, I’ve still got 75% of my life to live.

We get this idea in our heads that marriage is the end-all goal, when in fact, things are just beginning!

For you 21st-century, Generation-X thinkers, think of it this way. Marriage is:

* R2D2 and C3PO delivering Princess Leah’s message to Luke

* Batman meeting Robin

* Woody finding Buzz Lightyear

*Signing the Constitution

* Microsoft buying out NBC

*Just the beginning!

I love Disney movies. But they repeatedly got one thing wrong with their classic princess movies:

Marriage is once upon a time. Not happily ever after.

Happily ever after is years of commitment and devotion and love in the wake of an elderly couple still holding hands … not the first kiss after slaying the dragon.

The dragon invades our marriages in the form of finances, late oil checks, dirty diapers, dirty kitchens, morning breath, unseemly hair, gas, burnt food, the Hallmark channel, etc.

So, a reminder to married people and to myself: let’s begin to treat marriage as the midst of a journey we’re trekking through, each bounding toward a certain goal, warding off the dragons together.

To those of you not yet married, start ingraining it into your heads that marriage is the start of a new life, not some early retirement.

I’m thankful to be married to my wife. Her corrections sometimes sting, and my attitude toward her often needs to be checked. But with her help, I am growing and learning, and without a doubt, I am a much better person today because of her, than I was eight or ten years ago. (I dress better, too!)

And no matter what, I know she loves me, and I love her, and we never have to worry about who we’re going to spend Friday night with.

A Giveaway and a New Blog

Let me see a show of hands from those of you who like to cook. How about those of you who like to do crafts?

Okay, hands down.

How about those of you who want to cook but can’t? And those of you who would like to learn about crafts?

Wow. There’s quite a few of you out there.

I don’t think I’m just being biased when I say that my wife is the best cook I’ve ever encountered. Only her cooking can make me second-guess whether I want to go to Cheesecake Factory or stay in.

That’s right. She rivals Cheesecake Factory. That’s no short order.

And crafty! She’s so incredibly talented with the little projects she seems to always have going on around the house.

Well, lucky for you, Sarabeth and her sister Ruthane, who currently lives in South Asia, and is equally as talented, have started a new blog called From Flats to Lofts. It’s been up for a few weeks and so far you can

learn to bake an incredibly delicious and moist birthday cake,

learn to make an exfoliating scrub with lemon and sugar and make your skin oh-so-smooth!

learn to make laundry soap and save money on name-brand detergents

learn to make your own counter spray, and so much more!

And starting tomorrow, Friday, there will be  a giveaway of the famous Travelocity Gnome for you to win! I’ve put the link to their blog here, so check out all the cool stuff they have for you to read throughout today, then tomorrow keep checking back for details on how you can win the Gnome.

Be awesome blog followers and support my wife and her sister. Comment, follow, and encourage them to keep up the good work.

I don’t know how she does it, but Sarabeth is actually managing two blogs right now. Her other one is about our three dachshunds. It’s fun, it’s cute, and it’s puppies! You can check out The Dachshund Blog here.

Two Families, Two World Views

The 90′s was an effort by most major broadcasting networks to take the spotlight away from family-themed television shows that dominated the 80′s and early 90′s. Now that that era is over, some shows are attempting to re-fix the spotlight back on the family – with a few twists.

Two prominent shows are in the spotlight today. NBC’s Parenthood and ABC’s Modern Family. On the surface the only stark differences are that one is a half-hour long comedy and the other is an hour-long drama. Both shows consist of mediocre-sized American families where the siblings are grown and trying to figure out adulthood, sometimes guided by the patriarchs of the clans (Parenthood lead by Craig T. Nelson from Coach and Modern Family lead by Ed O’ Neil of Married with Children fame).

Both shows thrive on the flaws of its endearing characters, but only one of them takes the flaws seriously enough to run with them and expose the consequences of the actions that many (if not all) viewers can relate to.

But after watching a few seasons of each show, a bigger difference seems to set them apart.

One show is lead by a man who never quite graduated socially from the seventh grade and who makes his son take the fall for looking at porn on the family computer. (More on this type of TV man, here.)The other show is led by a man who is trying to connect with his son who has Asperger’s syndrome, tries to protect his daughter from having premature sex, openly confesses his life to his wife, etc. A model family man.

One show features the patriarchs as working through past mistakes and getting counseling for extramarital affairs, and working at keeping their marriage together, while the other sends a clear message that you can divorce your wife to marry a much younger, more shapely woman to fit your insatiable appetite, with little (if any) consequence.

In NBC’s (and Ron Howard’s)  take on the family institution, the loose bullet of the family commits fornication on many occasions, and in ABC’s version, it is “progressive” to feature a homosexual couple living together, and starting a family by adopting a child.

What I appreciate about both shows is the attempt to reflect many American family situations happening today. (Or or we reflecting them? hmmm…. more about that here.) But Modern Family’s lackadaisical approach to family life is somewhat off-putting. Phil Dumphy’s eagerness to role play a fantasy scenario with his wife by “picking her up” at the bar overrides his ability to mind the well-being of his children. And it’s disgusting – they might as well just have an affair already. Phil’s jokes and slapstick crashes are funny at first, and it keeps the kids interested, but the not-so-subtle messages of the show will begin to cement into their heads.

While Daddy Dumphy is tripping on the stairs for the twelfth time, the younger viewers are getting the message that Grandpa was justified for divorcing Grandma for a younger woman and the gay guys living together is okay because it’s funny and they’re nice.

Modern Family = Funny show (which dies out). No consequences to serious actions. Stupidity, divorce, and homosexuality are all acceptable and without consequences.

Now, Parenthood has not addressed the issue of homosexuality (at least as far as I’ve seen it). Maybe it will come. But it does address very seriously the consequences of extramarital affairs and how that act can change and affect everybody. And although Crosby, the loose bullet, is a fornicator (though, honestly, they probably all were), he at least makes it right by marrying the mother of his child. There is repentance there, not acceptance.

The characters in Parenthood are constantly trying to change themselves for the better, not accepting the mistakes they make, and refuse to turn a blind eye to those who are living in the wrong.

Here’s the irony. Modern Family is intended for kids, and Parenthood has a handful of scenes that could pass for a PG-13 rating if released in theaters. But when you get down to the world views each show is projecting, I’d feel much safer letting my kids watch Parenthood. 

Of the two shows, it’s what my family has chosen to continue to watch.

[Parenthood Image Credit], [Modern Family Image Credit]

Check Out Singer/Songwriter Andrew Peterson

May I be a little unorthodox?

Christian music can get on my nerves. Sometimes I have to take a hiatus from listening to it. And a lot of times, other music – *gasp* secular music – speaks to my soul. Sometimes the right note from Sister Hazel lifts me up. A piano solo from Elton John awakens me. A chorus from Fun. inspires me.

One reason is because they’re all different. They all sound different from each other. They’re all unique in their own way. And that’s a big reason why Christian music can get on my nerves – because you can’t tell one band from another. And oftentimes it’s hard to tell the lyrics of one song written in 1995 apart from the lyrics of another song released last week.

Check out this 5-minute video that proves my point in a humorous way at some point when you have the time. Regular churchgoers will love this video.

Now, that’s not to say that I don’t have my favorite Christian musicians lined up on my itunes playlist. The reason they’re on my playlist to begin with is because they’ve really tapped into their musical gifts and they stretch themselves out and go against the tired Christian sound.

Andrew Peterson is one such Christian artist who has dared to break out of the conventional Christian barrier. His lyrics alone are sheer poetry that speak to the heart  of any person in any walk of life.

Sarabeth and I had the privilege of attending his concert last night which was put on to support our church’s orphanage program, Rosalynn’s Hope.

Not since Keith and Kristyn Getty have I been so moved by the sound of music. Now, I’m not you’re typical music-listener. I tend to ignore the lyrics in many songs and am moved by the tune. This can oftentimes be to my disadvantage because Sarabeth has been known to ask, out of sheer shock, “What in the world are you listening to??”

My case of “It’s beautiful music” is often shattered when I look up the lyrics to that particular song and see that it’s all about young girls sunbathing on the beach and booty calls.

Oops.

But with Andrew Peterson, the real magic of his music lies in the lyrics, so I have to actually work at enjoying his art – but it’s so worth it! Each song tells a story, or captures a snapshot of an ofttimes overlooked Bible passage, and brings it to life.

His songs encircle the themes of paradise lost, and our longing for hope and redemption and a savior to come and finally rescue us from this hell we call earth. (Much like the themes in my book, The Man in the Box. I feel like he and I would get along.)

Just look over the opening lyrics capturing Abraham and Sarah’s sojourn to Canaan taken out of the book of Genesis:

Sarah, take me by my arm
Tomorrow we are Canaan bound
Where westward sails the golden sun
And Hebron’s hills are amber crowned

So bid your troubled heart be still
The grass, they say, is soft and green
The trees are tall and honey-filled
So, Sarah, come and walk with me

An artist with a paintbrush could do the scene no better. (The song is “Canaan Bound” if you want to look it up on itunes.)

And really, most, if not all of his songs are like this. Beautiful. Emotional. Flawless. I would also like to pay special tribute to his backup guys, who each performed just as well as Peterson. Look up Ben Shive and Andy Gullahorn on itunes and enjoy their music as well.

Check out Andrew Peterson’s tour schedule and be sure to book your ticket if he’s coming to your town. Otherwise, get his music on itunes or through his website (he also writes awesome fantasy books!). Listen to it. Love it. And let it open up your mind and heart to the Creator of all that’s good and wonderful.

[Image Credit]

Seeking Artist for Children’s Book

I wrote a children’s book complete with stick-figure drawings, which you’ll have a chance to look at in a moment. I’m seeking a publisher or agent to get it printed and published, but in order to really sell it, I need an artist to do the artwork. If anyone is interested (publishers, agents, artists), please email me at adoptingjames@aol.com.

Below I have pasted the manuscript which you are all welcome to look at. Please feel free to leave some feedback, keeping in mind that I might send publishers to this post to see if there is enough interest built up to make this book marketable.

The Giving Tree was one of my favorite picture books growing up. So it makes sense that if I’m going to make my own children’s book, it would be inspired by Shel Silversteen’s masterpiece. I’m not much of an illustrator, so stick-figures is really the best I can do. But since we’re all about stories here, this little story can’t be told without pictures. Check out A Warm Cup of String by Andrew Toy.

[Image Credit]

The High Cost of Adoption

Maybe you’ve been in this situation before. You and your spouse share the news that you’re going to adopt a child. Instead of that Kodak moment of your family jumping up and cheering and buying another round, you’re met with silence and, if not icy – caustic – stares. And a lot of “Huh’s.”

And then come the objections you just weren’t prepared for.

“They’re troubled kids,” they might say.

“Are you sure your marriage can handle such pressure?”

“What color will they be?”

“What if they’re sick?”

“It’s a lot of work … a lot of waiting … a lot of pain you’re setting yourself up for.”

Not quite the ringing endorsement you were looking for. And here all you wanted was a couple of hugs, and maybe some tears, or as Michael Scott would say, “That Oprah moment!”

But it doesn’t come. Instead the family gathering turns into a mild version of Jerry Springer.

But here’s the thing. At what point did we start to expect that adoption would be an institution set apart from any other Christian faculty?

We claim the sovereignty and unfailing truth of God; there’s bound to be objections to that.

We base our lives off of Jesus Christ being the one and only true and living God; objections are to be expected.

We oppose abortion of any kind; objections.

We should be standing firm against fornication and gay marriages; more objections.

So when did we ever get this notion that adoption would be an easy out? Is that why we’ve chosen adoption as our “mission field?” May we always keep in mind that adoption, just like any other form of exercising Christian faith, will likely come with a high cost.

Maybe you have to downsize in order to afford it. Maybe it causes tension in your marriage. Maybe you’re ostracized from your family. Maybe the Russian government bans the right for you to adopt from their country.

I’m not saying these are good things. These are consequences of not only the Fall, but of being followers of Jesus Christ. Adoption is not to be looked upon as some sparkling clean virtue that comes without much pain or cost. If that’s how or why you’re approaching it, rethink your motives and check your heart.

Maybe you discovered halfway into it that adoption isn’t as pretty or sexy as Hollywood makes it sound. Let me urge you: If your friends or family members are giving you a hard time about your decision, use this as an opportunity to witness to them.

If the child you bring into your home is “troubled,” love him or her all the more. Hang on to them as if they’re you’re own. I don’t care if you’re adopting or fostering-to-adopt, once that child steps foot into your home, you’re Mom and Dad. I personally don’t believe you have the right to return them to the state, even though the state says you do.

If the foreign country you were so hopeful to adopt from closes its doors to you, resist the urge to curse them, but direct your anger to prayer, and trust that everything is happening under God’s rule for a reason and a grand purpose that you may not see until Heaven.

Adoption is an act of sacrifice in and of itself. Let’s not fool ourselves into thinking that it’s the easiest option to living out our Christian faith. Be prepared for the objections, the pitfalls, and the cold shoulders. Expect them.

Jesus had no one to comfort Him on the cross. For us to even have one ally in our quest to adopt is a bigger gift than we could have ever deserved.

[Image Credit]