Hugs

Shel Silversteen penned a poem called “Hug-O-War.” You’d probably remember it if I started it off for you:

I will not play tug-o-war.mar15

I’d rather play hug-o-war.

Where everyone hugs

Instead of tugs,

Where everyone giggles

and rolls on the rug…

I don’t do hugs. They’re just not my thing.

dtv-tommyboyKids hug parents. Girls hug puppies. Heavy-set people give bear hugs. Women hug women. Tommy Boy hugs.

But I, Andrew, do not hug. I’ll shake your hand, or even better, I’ll high-five or fist-bump you. (“Knucks!”) But the best of all is a head nod. “Hey. What’s up?”

“Nothing. You?”

“Not much. See ya.”

“See ya.”

But there’s a problem with all of this. I don’t like hugs, but

I’m married.

And my spouse is a woman.

And women hug.

My wife likes hugs.

The first time Sarabeth and I hung out together as a couple, we could have hugged when I said good night.handshake

But we didn’t. I shook her hand. No joke.

But here’s the thing. Sarabeth knows me and my needs. She knows that I need affirmation and compliments. And she doesn’t give out compliments freely. But she gives them generously to me because she knows I need them.

So it’s only fair that I hug her more than once a week.

Because I love her.

What does your spouse love? What do they need every day?

My wife needs hugs.

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About adoptingjames
My lovely wife and I are foster parents, dog owners, home owners, and Christians. I am a blogger, book editor, and author. On my blog you'll read about adoption, faith topics, inspirational thoughts, and a whole lotta Disney/Pixar lovin'! For the most exciting read ever, check out my suspense/adventure novel, The Man in the Box. You. Will. Love it.

11 Responses to Hugs

  1. Lottie Nevin says:

    What a lovely poem. I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t love hugs. Wouldn’t the world be a much better place if instead of fighting, people sorted out their differences with talking and hugging instead? Imagine! :)

  2. A really nice piece :)

  3. tamarasuz says:

    Laughter…my spouse needs laughter! I think it is great that even though you are not a hugger, you save your hugging for your spouse. Our whole family is full of huggers, but there are different types. You have your quick squeeze, the shoulder hug, the around the neck hug, and my favorite was my second oldest son’s cheek hugs. You like to hand hug!

  4. Val_ToWriter says:

    Reminds me of “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, a worthwhile read to help people realize what actions people need to know that they are loved. Even at my advanced age, it uncovered things I hadn’t thought about, and I now act somewhat differently having read it. The people we hang out with are huggers, and it’s what I expect and give. It’s a bit strange if you don’t know a person very well, but welcoming if you do. Hugs apparently can raise your serotonin levels, too. I love Shel Silverstein — he really seems to know kids and how they feel and act. It also draws children to poetry and the sound of words which is a bonus.

  5. That’s right. Marriage is all about that kind of partnership. Selfish people don’t last very long…

  6. Anonymous says:

    How sweet is that… at my place, we all like to hug, spouse, kids, all of us. And we like to hug our favourite things too! No seriously. But as you are not a hugs person, here a nod to you!

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