Smudgefutt Letters 4

Dear Pigmud,

Happy Halloween! (Now, of course this is a silly sentiment to pass along as we obviously don’t live according to the humans’ concept of time. But then again, we’re not infinite like the Enemy, either. We’re sort of stuck in between time and infinity. Maybe I’ll talk more about that later.) But nonetheless, in the western societies, this is our day!

(And, of course, as you know, before we gave the humans the idea to celebrate Hallow’s Eve it was exclusively our holiday. Do you remember what we called it? It was called Serpent’s Day, because it, in essence, is a celebration of that wonderful day of the Fall when Sin was unleashed on all mankind.)

What a joy it is to see humans of every kind celebrating the beauty of Death. All month now, houses have been bespeckled with skeletons (plastic, obviously, but it’s a start), and corpses, and witches (even though many are still disguised as horrid cartoon characters). It’s the idea that counts, right? 

Our Father Below has made great strides with this Holiday over the years. Whereas it used to be primarily celebrated by the little ones – just a harmless night roaming the streets beseeching strangers for candy. This provided a wonderful opportunity for our slaves – the kidknapers, peddofiles and physchopaths – to feast their eyes on young flesh, even if many didn’t get to steal their plunder. After all, we’re in the business of tempting, aren’t we? (We make no promises to deliver!) The grown humans, those who were devoid of stupid children, and who never grew up themselves, celebrated privately in their backyards with sainces and calling Us to speak to them. 

But now, in the twenty-first century, thanks to our Father Below, those children who grew up asking people for candy have become more and more enamored with our Holiday and they are now the ungrown adults who call Us from our world and sacrifice animals. This really is our battleground because even the grownups whose parents didn’t let them partake in the harmless activities of our blessed Night grow up with a healthy curiosity and sometimes begin to dabble where they’ve been forbidden all their lives. Such a fine line the humans must walk, and rarely do!

Our Father Below has done a marvelous job at not only connecting the glory of fornication and orgies to our blessed Holiday, but stretching it out to be celebrated every day of their year. 

It was our comrade Mushtroll who so smartly suggested we honor the “monsters” celebrated on Halloween by having them dominate the TV world. “Combine pornography with needless violence with the innate love of Story,” he suggested to our Father Below. At least that’s what Mushtroll told me happened. I couldn’t imagine our Father ever admitting to accepting someone else’s suggestion. 

So now our beloved TV world is broadcasting shows about vampires and zombies and drugs every day – and not only that – the stupid people can “waste” their hard-earned money on the (rightly) overpriced DVD sets, and all the while they are falling deeper and deeper into our Father’s trap (which he has yet to reveal to us, bless him). 

Halloween! The celebration of death and fornication. The glorification of sinful blood and lust. And let us not forget about our fortunate commrads who have been chosen to disguise themselves as people’s dead relatives and play “Ghost.” One day, I hope to earn that honor, but don’t we all? Just think how wonderful it will be to make yourself known to the humans. 

But of course, you’ve got a long way to go before you can even hope to do that. For now, just keep working on your patient. He doesn’t care much for Halloween, that’s fine. But he will still celebrate the spirit of it by staying in and watching mind-numbing movies with his friends. You’re doing a fine job in keeping him away from thoughts of the Enemy. 

Yours Truly, Smudgefutt

I (Andrew, not Smudgefutt) highly recommend this Halloween post: Dr. Albert Mohler

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Last Minute Pep Talk to Writers

I have never met a person who said, “I don’t want to write a book before I die.” Truthfully, I’m sure some people feel that way – but I haven’t met them. Most people harbor a glistening imagination deep in the wellspring of their soul that they are just too afraid to expose. Today, on the eve of Halloween, the brink of NaNo, and on the cusp of the most imaginative and magical season of the year, I would like to dedicate our minds and attention to our inner child… or, our locked-up imaginations.

“Fun is closely related to Joy,” says C.S. Lewis, “-a sort of emotional froth arising from the play instinct … it promotes charity, courage, contentment…” (And I would like to take it one step further for this 21st century audience and add that Fun creates jobs.)

In light of this NaNo contest starting up in just two days, I want to encourage those of you who plan on participating to not be afraid to dive deep into your imagination, as silly as it may seem. When you think your imagination is so far away from mainstream entertainment think of J.M. Barrie who dared to have pirates and Indians coexist on the same star-inhabited island. Think like him, and allow yourself to become inspired by the things that surround you. (And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, cancel your plans for this evening and rent Finding Neverland.)

Think of the guys at Pixar who dared to create a “children’s” movie about a senior citizen and a flying house. Be reassured by the words of Pete Docter, the co-writer and co-director of Up: “There were times when we thought to ourselves, ‘An old man in a floating house? With a Wilderness Explorer and a talking dog? What are we thinking? Who’s going to connect with this?’”

When you start to panic about writing your story, think: A secret world found in a wardrobe… A magical chocolate factory… A cowardly lion and a brainless scarecrow… a man who climbs inside a box (see what I did there?)… these are all really weird concepts. But they work! And yours can too!

As you write, don’t worry about whether people will like it or not. Write because it’s something you want to read. Because, truthfully, you’re not that different from other people. You like the same stories everyone else likes. So, who’s to say your own stories won’t be received well by others?

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The Smudgefutt Letters 3

Dear Pigmud,

I see that you’re concerned that your patient isn’t as headstrong about a certain issue he shouldn’t be giving a second thought to at all. Let me assure you, he is right where you ought to want him. You say he has a friend who is with child and she wants to abort it. Good for her! (Not like we have a shortage of spirits to taunt the world’s population, but that just leaves more of us to gang up on more influential people.) 

But in your last email to me you wrote that you yourself were struggling with the beauty of abortion. ‘Smudgefutt,’ you wrote. ‘If the unborn or partially-born babies go to Heaven (may It never be completed), then why would we want to encourage their premature deaths?’ I swear to our Father Below, sometimes you are such an idiot! 

It’s clear to me that you have your focus backward. The whole point of what we’re doing isn’t to keep people out of Heaven. It’s to keep people away from the Enemy. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Isn’t Heaven where the Enemy is and His presence fully available?” Just shut up and let me explain. 

Did you see how our comrades Turkeythroat and Bobblegobblet got those boys to kill the little girl a couple of weeks ago in New Jersey? They were in the middle of a neighborhood. But there was no one around to stop it, was there? Because everyone was locked up in their own homes or at work, minding their own business. Just like us. We’re not in Heaven, and we never will be, so why should we care what goes on there and who goes? Once they’ve gone, they’re gone, and good riddance! 

But while the people are still alive, we want to encourage them and lure them as far away from the Enemy as possible in order to either A) Keep them from joining His ranks, or if they already have, B) Keep them from enjoying His blasted gifts. Because when they join Him or enjoy Him, in essence they are worshiping and glorifying Him.  But when they’re not enjoying Him, or even thinking about Him, then they’re dishonoring Him. 

But we want to bring people so far away from honoring Him; we want them to disobey Him. And what better way to disobey Him than to tempt them and convince them to kill one another? And since we don’t know who could grow up to be the next Luther or Moon or John or Paul, we might as well kill them while they’re young. 

Now back to your patient. You say he’s okay with his friend aborting her child. You say he will be supportive of whatever she chooses to do. But he doesn’t necessarily call himself “pro-choice.” I say, fine! He’s fooling himself into thinking he is for saving that child’s life as long as he doesn’t force her to abort. But what you must keep from him is that anyone who doesn’t stand up and defend that baby’s life is just as bad as the lovely doctors who cut the babies into pieces or vacuums out their brain tissue, and discards those little bodies like worthless rags in the trash. 

Do not let your patient realize that by not advocating against baby killing, that he is just as bad as the people who kill them. When it comes to voting for officials who support baby killing and spread the lie that a woman’s body is her own (for men don’t own their bodies either, as every human essentially belongs to the Enemy), make baby killing a non-issue. And when his friend is struggling with whether to abort or not, remind him that the way to be her “best friend” is to let her make her own choice. 

I love how weak the men have become – so weak that they’re more concerned about their worthless image than defending the life of a baby – and how increasingly stupid people can be. But be warned, the stupidity comes in waves. Do not let the Enemy have a foothold on this issue or they’ll smart up. One of the last things we want on women’s faces are dry eyes. 

Yours Truly, Smudgefutt

P.S. I have sent our comrade Cutpus in advance to your patient’s friend because he is very good at convincing people that their actions outweigh the Enemy’s offered forgiveness. 

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Last Minute Jitters [or] What Will You Be Writing?

Last week I posted about NaNo. I said I was going to do it, and I will. But as you can see by the duel title of this message, I am growing very skeptical – or undecided – about what my subject matter should be.

I had it all figured out until last night. I was going to write a Christmas story that I’ve had planned for the last seven years, but I realized I’m just not ready for it yet. It’s a precious story to me that I don’t want to be rushed.

Then I started thinking about what people have been saying about my book The Man in the Box (coming out Nov. 30th). And it seems I’ve established myself as a suspense/adventure writer. Now granted, my next book is nowhere near said genre (Scroll down here for synopsis), but I wouldn’t want to disappoint fans of the book by deviating from suspense for too long – hence, keeping people in suspense…

Anyway, all that to say, I thought I had my book for this NaNo writer’s contest all figured out. But clearly, I don’t. I’m writing this as an encouragement to those of you who find themselves in the same boat as me. You’re not alone. And (I hope) I’m not alone.

When it comes to stories and books, I don’t want to just wing it. I want to deliver the best plot, the best characters, I possibly can. And I hope you’re the same way. I hope there aren’t many people entering this contest just to write a book, without having any concept of what they want to write. (How many times have you seen an awful movie and wondered, “Did they just make this because they were bored?”) No, I hope you go into November with a clear reason as to why you’re writing a book, and with some concept of what it will be about.

Because if you just start writing something without having any idea where it’s going or why you’re writing it, then it’s very likely you’re going to give up, and you’ll kick yourself and eat a lot of ice cream and you won’t be in any shape to eat a hearty Thanksgiving dinner… hmmm, I think I see why this contest is held in November…

I’m not there yet. But I have four days to get there. And so do you. And remember (as soon as I figure out how) I’m going to have a link somewhere on this blog for you to post your developing stories for all to see. So, stay encouraged, get prepared, and be ready to write the best book you possibly can. NaNo starts November 1st.

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Theo: Adopted Into God’s Family

I posted this a couple of months ago. Just wanted to remind some of you parents about this.

For those of you with little kids looking for quality entertainment less intense than Disney but deeper than Veggietales, look no further than this new Christian children’s series, Theo. Created by Mike Joens, the storyboard artist and animation producer/director for McGee and Me! and Adventures in Odyssey, this traditionally animated (2-d) cartoon series is centered around a friendly English gentleman who is a student of God’s Word and lives in a large house with two witty British mice. The series is faithful to guide viewers into the basics of systematic theology.

I want to point out an episode I had the opportunity to preview recently. It’s about adoption. The ten minute video does a very good job teaching on adoption’s basic foundational truths and the idea that people very different from us can indeed be adopted into our families and called brother or sister or son or daughter.

For families with kids looking into adoption, you might want to take special care to watch this video with your young ones. It can serve as a very good tool to help aid a discussion about what your family is preparing to do. It will help your kids not see adoption as just taking some outsider into the family, but how that is so significant of a move to the adopted one, and it ties in how we also, if given our lives to Christ, have been adopted into God’s family and how that is significant to us.

Check out the website here. You’ll find other videos you can order that deal with a few other doctrines of faith. McGee and Me! and Adventures in Odyssey lovers especially will find this series endearing and even a bit nostalgic.

From Barren to Blessed

Here on AdoptingJames we talk a lot about pop culture, faith, and writing. One institution we like to highlight  - as suggested by the name of the blog – is adoption.

Meet Caroline. She is a woman of God who struggled for many years with the despair of infertility. She struggled so much so that she chose to let her pain come between her and God, as so many of us do. Eleven years ago she decided to take her aunt up on her invitation to come to church, and she still attends to this day, being drawn closer and closer to her loving Father.

In 2006 Caroline and her husband decided to become Foster parents and God was gracious to give them their first placement the day they became licensed. They worked closely with the child’s mother who could not keep him, and they officially adopted him to be their son when he was 20 months old. They received their daughter, who had been abandoned, at seven weeks old. They adopted her when she was just sixteen months old.

They are currently no longer fostering, but are working in child welfare, and their passion for the children is immense. I encourage you to read their story. I have provided two links for you to check out. Caroline is currently writing a book about her life.

Fostering His Will

Around the Fire

Smudgefutt Letters 2

Dear Pigmud,

It goes against my wishes to tell you about my current patient. But our Beloved Father Below has insisted that I do so. He favors community and closeness amongst his followers, but frankly I feel like he is just taking his mimicking of the Enemy a tad bit too far. It’s as if he actually believes the Enemy has a superior tactic. (You will please be so kind as to delete this message as soon as you read it, will you not? I would hate to be reprimanded for saying such things.)

But as I must, I will tell you about my patient. He is a Christian (may they be severed from the Enemy), and a devoted one at that. He was raised believing the “truths” taught to him in church and at home. They save these types of people for us more experienced spirits, because they can be quite hard to cut down. But I find that the more I’ve worked with these Christians, the easier it is to find their weaknesses. 

Now spirits can always go one of two ways with these types. The first (and most favored) technique is to allow them to hear about the Bible (may it burn in Hell), and make them think they believe in the stories. But all the while, we’ll whisper doubts in their ears, telling them that whales can’t really spit people out and the plagues brought onto the Egyptians were just coincidences or merely never happened at all. Just build up enough doubt that causes them to be comfortable in their “belief,” yet, willing to be proven wrong. This way, when they are of age and enter the rest of the world apart from their parents and Church (may it fall), we’ve got piles upon piles of doubts about the Enemy to remind them of. 

Now, I’m taking a different approach with my current patient. He knows how to draw the line between reality and fantasy – he’s quite bright in that regard. He knows the Enemy exists, and he even knows that His Son died for His believers. But I have achieved the goal of keeping this information merely at a head knowledge. I have kept him from actually believing it. How do I know this? Because of his actions. 

He’s okay with telling white lies now and then, and he’s okay with downloading songs from the Internet without paying for them. How do I know he’s okay with doing it, and it’s not merely a struggle or a loosing battle with temptation? Because he’s not praying and asking the Enemy for his wicked forgiveness. He does these things as though he were popping corn kernels in the microwave. 

To be honest, I’ve got it pretty easy with this patient. The only thing I need to watch out for is any sign of brokenness or any realization that maybe – just maybe – he’s not saved. But luckily I’ve got him at a church that doesn’t ask such ridiculous questions. He walked the aisle several years ago and filled out a card saying that he accepted the Enemy into his heart. Thanks to me, he thinks that moment was his key to Heaven. Our Father Below gave me permission to keep that card and hand it to my patient when he gets here. 

Yours Truly, Smudgefutt

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